


To The Boy I Love

by AlwaysInSonder



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Loverboy Lance, Thirsty Pidge, To All The Boys I Loved Before AU, i still can't believe i wrote this tbh, plance, slowburn-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-06-30 04:26:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15744273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysInSonder/pseuds/AlwaysInSonder
Summary: "So...it's Keith that you are in love with.""Correct.""Then let's date.""That...does not compute."Lance leaned forward and gave her a dark smile that made her want to swoon like a medieval maiden."Let me help you catch your man."orHow Katie Holt's drama-free life upends, when her secret love letters get sent out to their unintended recipients.





	1. Chapter 1

A nice, warm summer’s day. Only a weekend left before the break was over, and senior year of high school began. Katie fully intended to spend the two days as fruitfully as possible. First, to catch up on _Clone Wars_ , (attempt to) tidy her study desk for the new academic year and finally, spend as much time as possible with her brother before he moved away.

Sure, some kids spent it catching up with their friends, ending summer romances or putting the final touches to their summer make overs. But Pidge, as her brother called her, preferred her little alcove in the living room where she had marathons of sci-fi films (and cheesy romances when she had the house to herself). 

The house was safe and warm. Nothing to fear. No heartbreaks to anticipate. Nobody to disappoint.

“Pidge, please don’t tell me you’re watching that _again_.”

“Oh, shove it. I don’t tell you what to do with your life.”

“You actually do, on a daily basis. It’s how I ended up dating Shiro.”

“And you finally had a social life!”

“We broke up, Pidge.”

“Yeah, but he’s still your best friend. That counts for something.”

Matt just sighed and set down another box of his things down by the stairs. The moving truck was coming by tomorrow to take his things to his apartment in the premises of the Galaxy Garrison; where Matt was accepted into a graduate research program.

Katie snorted and shoved another handful of peanut brittle. The couch sunk with an extra body and Katie shifted her head onto Matt’s lap.

“Are you going to miss me, baby sis?”

Pidge frowned and pulled away the bowl of peanut brittle from his reach.

“ _Absolutely_ …not.”

She knew from his smirk that she was pouting. Snapping off a portion, she handed him her beloved snack.

Matt was oddly silent for a few moments. It was not his usual, pensive silence.

“Katie…I’m worried for you.”

“Don’t be. I’ve already got an early acceptance place with the Garrison Cadet program.”

“Not _that_.”

She shifted her eyes upwards from the television to meet his. Matt avoided her curious gaze.

“It’s the final days of summer…and you’re spending it at home?”

Pidge stared at him for a bit, before turning her gaze slowly back to the television. It was true that she could be spending time with people, but she really wasn’t in the mood.

“You’re not still getting bullied, are you?”

His voice was gentler this time, and the warm concern imbued in his voice was so reminiscent of their mother’s, Katie nearly teared up.

“Of course not. Allura and Romelle are my friends remember?”

Befriending the two Europeans had worked in her favour in ways Katie didn’t imagine. First, it made her strangely ‘popular’ and therefore, immune to bullying. But she eventually figured that she was a sort of gateway to arguably the two most beautiful girls in their school. In a way, she didn't mind that. But in some ways, it did eat at her self-worth. Not that she'd ever admit it out loud.

Second, at their persistence, she had joined an after-school activity; volunteering at the Humane Society. It was where they had adopted Rover and she’d found something in her week to look forward to that didn’t surround being locked up in the computer lab for hours on end.

And the third reason? They were genuinely the best friends Katie had always wanted since middle school. If there was anyone she was going to miss terribly leaving her home, it was them. Sure, she was not nearly as girly as they were, but they didn't mind it one bit. They loved her as she is, nerdy tendencies and all.

“So why aren’t you spending time with them?”

“They’re visiting their uncle in England. They won’t be back till tomorrow.”

 “What about Hunk? I haven’t seen him around in a while.”

“He’s spending the last of the summer with Shay. She’s moving back to Canada.”

Matt tutted sympathetically, and she felt him sigh heavily. A small part of her bristled – she didn’t need to be babied - she was months away from turning eighteen.

The doorbell rang just then, and Katie jumped to answer it. Any chance to escape awkward conversations with her brother over how sad and lonely her life was, was welcome.

“Shiro!”

“Hey Pidge.”

The dark-haired man smiled kindly down at her and handed her a perfectly baked apple pie. She breathed in its mouth-watering cinnamon sugar scent and sighed happily.

“Wow, I didn’t know you baked.”

“Funnily, I don’t. Adam made it.”

“He couldn’t make it?”

Katie moved aside, letting the man in. There was a point in her life she had an _embarrassing_ crush on him. Thankfully, she was well and truly over it. Shiro had become another older brother to her. A cooler, laid-back one that didn’t shy away from telling her what she needed to hear. She realized she’d miss him too and the dread that she had been harbouring in her heart weighed heavier.

“Ah…he thought it’d be awkward.”

“I told him already, it’s _fine_.”

Matt shouted from the living room. Shiro tugged off his jacket and chuckled. It was still a wonder to her how coolly Matt handled break-ups.

“So, spending the last days of summer with the usual gang?”

Shiro nodded his head towards her stack of Star Wars disks on the coffee table. Pidge just shrugged non-committedly and set the pie on the dinner table. Her nose twitched as the scent of smoke wafted through the house.

“Matt? I think the chicken’s burning.”

“ _Shit!_ ”

Just another normal, summer evening at the Holts’.

* * *

 

“So, senior year huh?”

She gave a shrug and stabbed another piece of the chicken. She sneakily threw a few pieces down for Rover. Mercifully, the stuffing saved it from being too dry. Another terrifying thought struck her then, she’d have to live with her dad’s cooking. Her shoulders slumped. Shiro chuckled and patted her shoulder.

“Hey, it’s not that bad.”

“I’m sure it will be fantastic. You’re my smart, beautiful girl.”

Sam looked over to his daughter, pride clear in his eyes. Beyond that, Katie knew he felt an inordinate amount of guilt and it showed in his face every time he looked at her. Guilt for not having enough time to spend with her when he was so busy with his work at the local state research facility. He truly had no reason to. Both Matt and he had made sacrifices to give her as normal of a childhood as they could since her mother’s death.

Previously, Matt had been accepted into the Garrison’s prestigious Cadet program but turned down the acceptance in favour of a regular state school where he could still live with his family. Sam had moved back from the Garrison to live with her. Now that it was a done deal that she was going to the Garrison, the family could make the full move to Arizona next year. She looked forward to that. Far away from everything that reminded her of her dull life here. Away from... _him_. 

“Speaking of…any suitors for the young Katherine?”

She choked on a broccoli as Shiro snorted into his drink. Sam glanced over at her expectedly.

“Nope.”

All three men looked disappointed and it plainly confused her.

“What? I’m moving in a year to be with you guys.”

“Still, Katie. You should break a heart or two. Holts are famous for that”

Her eyes widened as she turned to Shiro who had given a harmless wink Matt’s way. He’d only rolled his eyes in response.

“Shiro’s right…you’re a beautiful girl Katie. I’m so proud of how much you achieve academically, but it does worry me that you aren’t out living the best years of your life.”

“Not that you need a man to have a good life. Or a woman.” Matt quipped, pointedly raising glass.

Katie shoved another forkful of roasted carrots between her lips and chewed thoughtfully.

“She’s probably still holding out for _Lance Serrano._ ”

Katie choked on a bit of carrot and gulped down an entire glass of water. Shiro patted her back sympathetically and shot a disapproving look over Matt’s direction.

“Aw, Katie. That’s actually really cute.”

“ _Dad_!”

She didn’t think there would be a greater paternal betrayal than the one between Luke and Darth Vader, and yet, here she was.

* * *

 

“Are you settling in okay?”

“Yup. Room’s real nice. Met a lot of cute nerds.”

“Oh, _good_.”

Katie smiled and pushed her laptop higher to get a good view.

“Ooh, is that a kitchen?!”

“Yup! I have it _all_ to myself. No crazy sisters leaving peanut brittle crumbs everywhere.”

Downstairs, Katie heard the ring of the doorbell. Her father shouted up that he’d answer it.

“Oh, I wonder who it is?” His brows raised but seeing Pidge’s faraway look, his gaze softened.

“Katie…I feel like I should tell you something. Now that I’m in a safe enough distance to.”

A brow rose, and she sat up higher.

“You’re pansexual? I’ve already known that. But why would you think I’d hate you for that?”

“No…well, remember how Dad gave me boxes to clear my room?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I went into your room to get the old clothes you said you’d leave out for donation.”

Her heartrate picked up and she felt herself frown. Downstairs, she heard a burst of laughter. But that was the least of her worries.

“…And?”

“I found the letters.”

She stopped breathing then. The letters.

The letters that her sappy, ten, fourteen and sixteen-year-old selves had written over the years to her crushes. Or at least, to the people she _used_ to have crushes on. She gulped hard.

“Are you going to mock me for them?”

“What? No! Mom was the one who told you to write them.”

She did. She always believed putting her thoughts to paper was a good way to sort out her racing mind. It was why Katie diligently kept a journal. The letters helped as an outlet for her crushes and eventually, realise that she was infatuated with most of the boys…save for one boy.

The first letter, was to Lance. She’d written it when she first met him and instantly fell for him.

The second, was for Shiro. Too embarrassing for her to even _think_ about. She’d considered burning it but thought it would be a funny memory for her to keep when she was older; _much_ older.

The third, was for Hunk. But as soon as she’d finished writing that one, she realised her feelings for him didn’t extend beyond being her best friend.

The fourth…was for Lance. Again.

The fifth, was for the local bad boy, Keith. And boy, was that crush short-lived.

James Griffin was the sixth. She'd met him at her summer internship at the Garrison.

And the seventh…the most recent, also Lance. She _really_ wished she didn’t decide to go to the beach that day. The sight of him in his swimming trunks gave her way too many daydream genres to explore.

“I…posted them.”

“You…WHAT?!”

“Not _all_ of them! Not the one for Shiro though, ew.”

Somehow, that didn’t give her nearly as much relief.

“ _Katie! There’s someone here to see you._ ”

“Which. Ones.”

“All of the others.”

Her eyes widened, and an overwhelming sense of fear enveloped her body. Her body froze up and for once in her life, her brain couldn’t save her from this sticky situation.

“…Pidge? Are you okay sis?”

Her life. Her quiet, drama-free life, was over.

“ _Katie! Don’t keep your guest waiting._ ”

* * *

 

Current scientific studies showed no evidence of there being a human soul. But Katie was certain hers was floating over her body by thin threads. Each step she took felt infinitesimal. So much so, she’d nearly tripped over the stairwell as she made her way down. Luckily for her, a pair of warm, lithe arms catch her before she’d fall to her face.

“You alright there, _mi reina_?”

As soon as that smooth voice hit her ears, her body turned to air. Goodness, it had to be _illegal_ to sound that good. Her eyes had been glazed over from the shock, but as they slowly travelled up to her saviour, they came into focus. Dark blues eyes, soft and kind, met hers and a charming smile she knew too well formed on his lips. Lips that she had clocked far too many daydream hours on.

But as the warmth of his arms sunk into her skin, her soul returned to her body as did her consciousness. Her brain kick-started, and she realised just _who_ was right before her.

“…Lance?”


	2. The First Day

Pidge shifted in her seat as her father set down a pitcher of lemonade on the patio table. Lance made some remark or another and her father chuckled as he spoke. She couldn’t listen in on their conversation – not when her heart thudded in her ears. She was moments away from exploding like an impending supernova.

It was her father’s hand on her shoulder that snapped her out of her trance.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to catch up.” His voice was a tad too chipper. Never in her life had she wanted so badly for a wormhole to materialise beneath her.

Lance reached forward and poured a glass for her first. She mumbled a thank you and shifted herself further back into the wicker chair. His eyes were appraising her carefully, she could tell.

“So…Pidge?” She mentally winced at the name. Initially, it was something that only her brother had referred to her by, but somehow it had spread to the entire student population since middle school.

Then again, she’d probably not – or probably ever – have a restful night’s sleep if he ever referred to her by her real name.

An envelope was pushed into her view and she sighed heavily. She didn’t need to reach for them, she knew what exactly was in it.

“I can explain.”

“Oh?”

God, she hated that tinge of amusement in his voice. A voice in the back of her mind noted how much deeper it was.

“It was- I was in a really bad place and- “

“Ay, Pidge. I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength here.” She felt herself frown and lifted her head. He still looked amused, but mostly confused. Her eyes returned to the envelope on the table and she realised that it wasn’t the pastel blue ones that she used for him. It was plain white with orange and black stripes running through the top. The prominent stamp with the twin “G” s told her it was, in fact, not a love letter.

“Is that…from the Garrison?”

“Yeah. I got through the first round of interviews for the junior pilots’ program. The next stage isn’t for another few months, but it has an aptitude testing component…”

She was only half-listening to him. He _didn’t_ get her letters?

“…And like, you’re really a genius. I heard you were the first in our school to get into that cadet’s program. Oh, wait. I think it was your brother? But he didn’t go in the end, so I guess it’s you now? You beat out competition from the _entire_ country. That’s mighty impressive…”

 Then why was he here? Why was he spending his last day of summer here and not with his tongue down Jenny Shaybon’s throat?

“…so, will you help me?” At that, Katie’s head snapped up and a look of guilt must have settled over her features because Lance had a shy, knowing smile on his face.

Lance Serrano… _shy_? They must have found a way to genetically engineer flying pigs.

“Sorry, I ramble a lot, I know. Veronica said I need to cut it out if I’m going to the Garrison. The generals there aren’t known to be patient.”

“ _I’m_ sorry. It’s just that I realized I forgot to do some summer homework…”

What kind of insane person thinks about _homework_ when this gorgeous specimen of a man sat awkwardly on the patio of her childhood home? But Lance looked like he didn’t believe her anyway, the boy had the good graces to let it slide. She bit her lip and forced herself to look him in the eyes.

“If you don’t mind me asking…you sort of disappeared last year. I thought you were supposed to graduate.”

“I did graduate. I'm taking a gap year.” His voice petered off, and Katie could tell that he was about to say something else but had thought better of it.

“Oh.” A small part of her wanted to prod him further, but a strange look had come over his eyes. The silence between them began to feel like a wall and Katie busied her restless fingers on drawing nondescript patterns on the condensation of her glass.

“So…you won’t be going to school?”

“Oh, I’ll be there. I’m working as a temp coach’s assistant for the water polo team for the time being.”

Another silence fell between them. This time, it wasn’t as uncomfortable.

“You cut your hair.” He noted, reaching forward to tuck a stray brown lock behind her ear. Her skin tinged pink.

“Yeah...”

Her hair was a little longer than it was in the start of the summer and the ends tickled her chin in a fluffy bob. She had decided to cut it when she went for the summer internship at the Garrison. It did bother her that people mistook her for a boy – with some even mistaking her for her six-foot-tall _brother_ – but it felt like an assumed identity. It gave her a chance to be someone other than Pidge Holt, awkward teenage girl who avoided sports rallies and school dances.

“Pidge…I really don’t want to put you on the spot, but will you help me? Only if you really want to.” He added the last bit quickly. Katie would be lying if she said his request didn’t boost her ego.

“With the admissions test? S-sure.”

“Really?” The excitement in his voice and seeing his eyes brighten made her want to melt into a puddle.

“Really- oh!”

Lance had scooped her up into a hug that left her feet dangling. His arms – oh god were they so wonderfully strong around her – were tight around her waist and his lips brushed briefly across her forehead.

“I have to go pick up my niece from ballet. I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?”

When he finally set her down, Katie’s legs turned into linguini. Her fingers gripped the patio table as she shakily waved him goodbye.

* * *

 

“You’d have to drive yourself to school now Katie.”

She winced at the thought and glumly stabbed at a meatball. It wasn’t that she was a bad driver, she was too accustomed to an obliging brother who was more than willing to be her personal chauffeur to the point that she hadn’t practised in a long time.

“Y’know, if you had a boyfriend, you probably wouldn’t have to drive.”

“Dad, really?”

Her father chuckled and leaned forward to fill her plate with more spaghetti. Matt had cooked up enough pasta sauce to last them for a month – at least her father can cook pasta.

“I’ll just pool with Nadia.” She was a girl that moved in next door only last year. Unlike Katie, Nadia Rizavi had no problems making friends. But she was genuinely nice to her and sometimes poked her head into the computer lab Katie practically lived in just to say hi.

“I’m just saying, sweetheart. You don’t have to go through your last year of high school alone. No father wants his daughter holed up in her bedroom doing extra credit on weekends when she’s already got a place in college. I should be drinking beer alone and watching some kind of sport on TV waiting for the boyfriend to get home so I can wave a rifle in his face. Give me that paternal experience Katie.”

“You really want me out _there_? In the dangerous world getting myself into trouble?!"

“No, I want you to have an adolescence.” He sighed and removed his glasses to clean them.

“When I was a boy, I was a lot like you. I hid in the library and just fixated on getting good grades. I didn’t have many friends and well, an empty yearbook. If I hadn’t met your mother in college…” His eyes softened then, and he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose – much like his daughter would.

“…I don’t think I would have many friends, or a _life_ to speak of. Uncle Iverson? If I hadn’t met him…I don’t think Matt and you would have been born. Your mother and I owe a lot to him.”

“I get it dad. You and Matt want me to find a husband.”

She smiled as her father chuckled out loud. Her father wasn’t particularly a broody man, but it was a rare time she heard him laugh. Especially since her mother death.

“No sweetheart, I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I just want you to go out and have fun. I’m sure your mother would want that for you too.”

His voice had softened then, and he’d reached across the table to rest his hand over hers. Katie gave a reluctant squeeze in return.

“Speaking of which…Lance seems like a fine chap.” Her cheeks burnt crimson, and she stood up abruptly.

“I’ll go get the fruit salad.”

Her father chuckled and stood as well, collecting the dirty plates to set them in the sink. A silence fell between them. Colleen Holt’s soft humming as she served dessert usually filled the space.

“Do you still like him Katie?” His voice was carefully soft. He was trying hard to be like her mother and she felt guilty for avoiding him for that.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Probably not.”

“He seems to have taken a shine on you.”

“It’s not like that dad, he’s just friendly to everyone.” Her father raised an eyebrow at that, but he returned to the dishes.

“Well, he’s got a good head on those shoulders. He’ll be a good man, like his late father.”

“Late?”

Her hand froze mid-scoop and her father turned to her. Katie briefly remembered rumours about Mr Serrano’s illness, but she didn’t think it would be that serious.

“Oh, right. You were away on the internship. His father passed away a few weeks ago.”

Her heart stopped.

Mr Serrano was known as one of the kindest men in the sprawling suburbs of Altea. Not one resident didn’t know the cheery, warm man that always had time to help a neighbour in need. Katie herself had adored him – he’d been the one to lend a listening ear when she was bullied freshman year.

She had to be the biggest asshole on the planet.

* * *

 

The first day of school was as ordinary as it was onerous. The gossip and drama were something out of an Austen novel; a few new relationships were announced, several others broken over the summer and scandals by the means of students transferring to their rival school – the Galran Academy. Then there was a handsome new ~~suitor~~ student who seemed to compete with the statue of Alfor by the gates on how stoic they can look and a new assistant coach to the water polo team that sent the girls (and some guys) to a frenzy.

Katie didn’t want any part in it.

Only a certain crop of students attended Altea High School for Science and Technology. But even then, their school didn't escape the usual tropes of high school. Admittedly, it can be worse when the jocks were both intelligent _and_ athletically inclined; being a nerd in a nerd school just made you one of many.

But that fact truly never bothered Katie. She was comfortable with her technical abilities and didn’t think herself less for not taking up a sport. Her hyper-fixation with her niche was her strength and she had no issues wearing that reputation proudly.

The one thing that did nag at her at the time, was that she just wanted a friend.

It was only till Junior year did she find her supposed “pack” with Romelle and Allura. Nadia was somewhat a friend, if not at least a close acquaintance she could depend on with their close living proximities. Be it a homework buddy, a gaming partner or even someone to bounce off ideas on late in the night through their adjacent bedroom windows.

Pidge will have to add car pool buddy to that list; a soft emphasis on “pool”.

She walked towards her car alongside Nadia who gesticulated wildly as she explained a quantum physics assignment. As she rummaged her backpack for her car keys, she squeaked as a certain tall young man descended the steps of the building to the car park – easily maneuvering his way through his crowd of admirers and offering a wink or two at a swooning bunch. His eyes were searching the crowds and finally, they locked with hers.

She’d managed to avoid him all day with great success. She wasn’t going to fail now.

“Nadia, we need to run. Can you drive again please?”

“Hey Pidge, you’re going to have to drive yourself at some point. I’m not going to be like Matt. That boy spoiled you too much.” She’d said with mock-mothering tone waving a finger at her.

“Ugh, fine! But if I dent your car, I’m not liable.”

The urgency in her voice made the girl raise her brow but she shrugged and belted herself to her seat as Katie frantically started the engine.

Pidge gripped the steering wheel of her car as she settled her thoughts.

Sure, it’s been an entire year since she’d even sat on the driver’s seat - the last time being when she took her driver’s test – but how hard can it be? She’d consumed the Garrison’s exhaustive collection of flight manuals within three days. A sedan was nothing compared to a jet.

She took in a deep breath and adjusted the rear-view mirror, her leg jerking out on the peddle as a certain _someone_ panned into view. She yelped and hit the brakes, Nadia looking over to her in concern.

“I’m dead.”

“You’re fine. Though you do realise the entire point of having a rear-view mirror is, so you _don’t_ hit a pedestrian?”

Katie didn’t have time to scowl at her. _He_ was already making his way to the driver’s window. She expected him, but her body jumped as he knocked on the glass. As the window slowly slid open, his handsome face came into view.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Her eyes were trained forward, her back a little too straight. She felt him smirk to her side. She can just imagine those blue eyes tingling with mischief.

“Around these parts, we check behind to make sure there aren’t people walking by before backing out. So, you don’t kill people, y’know? That’s what these mirrors are for missy.” He had pianist fingers, she remembered then, as she watched him point to the mirrors. Long and elegant.

It was his cough that brought her eyes back up to his.

“Oh – um, I’m sorry ‘bout that.”

“Think you’ll make it out without a body count?”

“Yeah, I will.” Katie’s voice had gone uncharacteristically high at this point and if it weren’t for the seatbelt, Nadia would have fallen out of her seat from holding back her laughs. She threw a glare to her uncooperative passenger and turned to Lance, avoiding his eyes. His lean figure leaned against the car, his sinewy forearms rested casually on the window’s open edge. She forced herself not to stare at the veins on his forearms. Her fingers twitched with the urge to trace them over his caramel skin.

“You should…go.” She tried to ignore the little twinge of guilt in her chest, but Lance had looked more amused than anything. 

“Sure! Whatever you say Pidgey. Hey Rizavi? You’re in charge.”

Nadia’s eyebrow raised, and a grin split across her face as she returned Lance’s finger guns. As Lance sauntered away, Katie slammed the button to roll up her windows and the car filled with her friend’s cackles.

“Lance Serrano, huh? I thought that Shaybon chic ate him alive last year.”

Katie rolled her eyes and set the car to park. She was in no condition to drive now – her heart was racing, and she was seeing double. 

“So…what are we waiting for Kat?”

“We’re waiting until the statistical probability of me hitting another person is zero.”

“Oh quiznack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry my update took so long. A combination of family drama, catching a cold and other shenanigans have made it difficult for me to write. But now, I have a steady buffer of chapters so my updates shouldn't be so irregular!


	3. The First Letter

_To: Lance Serrano_

_77 Blue Avenue_

_Altea West_

_14569MA_

_Dear Lance,_

_I really, really like you. You’ve got pretty eyes and a real nice smile. I think you’re the sweetest boy in sixth grade. I want to hold hands with you and kiss you. The charm you gave me was really cute. I look it at it every day._

_You looked really sad when Jenny yelled at you the other day. I don’t think you’re useless. You’re so good at sports. I wish I could learn to swim like you. Maybe you’d notice me then._

_I think my class’ pet lizard reminds me of you; it’s really cute. In a creepy, hideous sort of way. Like you, Lance._

_All my love,_

~~_Pidge_ ~~ _Katie_

* * *

 

Katie jolted from her nap as the Skype ringtone from her laptop blared by her ear. It was Matt. She sighed and slammed the laptop shut, knowing full well what it would do to her brother.

But she just could not talk to him. Not when the chaos had just begun to unfold. It had started with Hunk on the third day of school.

_“Pidge? I got this weird letter that says it’s from you. I don’t want to be insensitive or anything, but is this a prank or something?”_

_“Hunk, I wrote that when I was fourteen. It means nothing now.”_

_The boy had the gall to look affronted, but he recovered with a loud, hearty laugh._

_“Of course, I knew it can’t be real. Not with the way you pine after Lance.”_

_Katie groaned and buried her face in her hands. Did everyone in the galaxy know?_

_“I’m done for Hunk. Matt sent them out.”_

_“Sent what out?”_

_“The letters!”_

_A knock on the door had both turning to the intruder. Blue-grey eyes looked apprehensively at them before resting evenly on Pidge. She audibly gulped, it was not every day the resident juvenile delinquent of their school made an appearance._

_“You. We need to talk.” He lifted his hand, where he held a pastel pink envelope._

_Hunk snorted and lifted his own yellow one. “We should start a club, buddy. The Ex-Crushes Club?”_

_Keith’s eyebrow raised at that, but he looked a lot less tense than he was before._

_“So, it is a joke?”_

_“Yes, yes, it is.”_

_She cut Hunk off before he could implicate her. The boy looked suspicious but gave in and left the room. Katie slumped in her chair in relief._

_“Well, that’s two of you down.”_

_“There’s more? Dang Pidge, I didn’t know you were this much of a player.”_

_She frowned as her friend chuckled at her expense._

Her phone buzzed, and she took several deep breaths before daring a peek at her screen. Her shoulders slumped slightly, realising it wasn’t who she thought it was.

**Matt: Pidge, I know you’re mad. But please let me explain.**

She sighed and made to put down her phone, only it vibrated again.

**Matt: Let me know when you’re ready to talk to me.**

**Matt: I love you baby sis.**

Katie sighed and fell back onto her bed. Her eyes found the glow-in-the-dark space-themed stickers Matt had pasted on her ceiling when she was small and afraid of the dark. For the most part - and it really was the _most_ \- Matt was an amazing brother. She knew she would forgive him eventually, but it was not going to be any time soon.

It was only going to be a matter of time before Lance received his. And _quiznack_ which one would he receive first?

Her heart jumped as the house echoed with the doorbell.

Oh no.

She bolted out of bed, stuffed her laptop into her backpack and grabbed her jacket. As she hastily climbed out of the window ledge of her bedroom, her feet slipped. She yelped as she tumbled down the roof and landed unceremoniously onto the bushes below.

“Katherine Lucia Holt what in the _world_ were you thinking?” Her father and Allura rushed out of the patio where Romelle held back snorts of laughter.

“Goodness Pidge! Are you hurt?” Allura was by her side, pulling her out of the bushes.

“I’m…fine.” She managed a groan as she sat up. Her first thought went to her computer and she desperately hoped her newly modified laptop was spared. Katie herself, however, was in fact _not_ fine. Her body was mostly alright; it seemed to shake a little from the shock. But the worst of her damages were to her bruised ego.

* * *

 

“Were you so excited to see us that you had to jump out of your window?” Romelle quipped as she bumped by Katie’s side. Allura reached up and picked a stray leaf from her hair.

“I…I thought you guys were someone else.” She mumbled glumly.

“Are you being stalked?” Allura’s hand rested firmly on her shoulder, stopping the trio from walking. They’d reached the entrance to Sal’s Pizzeria - their usual afterschool lair.

“What? No!”

Bright blue eyes watched her in concern but Allura’s hand eventually dropped. “Then what were you running away from?”

Katie wasn’t listening anymore; someone was watching her from inside. He took a long drag of his chocolate milkshake and gave her a wink. His hand lifted in what she thought was a wave, but instead, gripped between his fingers, was a pale blue envelope.

Her throat closed as she gulped hard.

“ _Him_.”

* * *

 

First her brother, then her father, now her friends. Why was everyone betraying her?

“One peanut butter milkshake for the lady and garlic knots for the gentleman. Pizza will be out in a minute.”

“Thanks Sal.” she mumbled, pulling the tall glass towards her.

“Smells amazing as usual Sal.” Lance grinned, pushing the basket of freshly made knots her way. She made a point to ignore it.

At the very least, the boy had the good graces to wait for the diner owner to walk away before breaking the silence.

“So uh, Romelle and Allura are really nice.”

“Yeah, real _nice_ ” she grumbled with the straw between her lips, shooting a death glare over Lance’s shoulder to the booth behind them. The two girls giggled behind their own milkshakes, doing everything in their power not to burst out into gaudy chortling.

He hid a smile by biting his lip and Katie gulped. Did he know the kind of invisible power he held over her?

“I guess I should be direct with you…regarding _this_.” He lifted the envelope again. Her fingers twitched with the need to reach across the table and snatch it from him.

“Please.” She kept her voice calm. Betray no emotion, give him no power over them.

“I’m… _flattered_ -“ Her heart dropped then; why did it? She didn’t want him to reciprocate.

“- but I just broke up with Jenny and it’s just-”

“Lance Serrano, I assure you, I’m _not_ trying to date you.” She amazed herself with how flat her delivery was.

Lance, on the other hand, looked plainly confused.

“No?” His voice garbled through the garlic knots stuffed in his mouth.

“Here ya go. One spinach, ricotta and sundried tomatoes pizza. Have fun kids.” The knowing wink he gave them made Katie blush.

The table shook, and it took her a while to realise that Lance’s leg was nudging it nervously. He sighed and sat forward to cut the pizza. As Pidge took a sip of her milkshake, she watched Lance as he served a slice for her. It looked like an ingrained habit for him – taking care of others before himself.

“Were you going to elaborate…?” Lance sucked tomato sauce from his finger and munched on a fresh slice, dark blue eyes watching her carefully. She’d wondered what it would feel like to kiss away the sauce that clung to his top lip.

“Earth to Pidge?” She snapped into attention.

“…It’s not for you.” The lame excuse she’d formed the night before wasn’t going to work in this scenario and sure enough, Lance just looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“So here’s the thing-” Katie adjusted her glasses and sat up straight. Lance matched her, already devouring another slice.

“- I don’t actually like you. I just had to make it _look_ like I liked you. That way, they won’t think that I like them. It’s simple triangulation.”

“So, who’s it for?”

“What?”

“Who’s this mystery stud that caught the attention of the enigmatic Katie Holt?” She hated how his eyebrows wiggled. He didn’t look convinced one bit.

“Keith.”

Lance went deathly silent. She dared a peek to his face.

“ _Keith_?” He sat back against the velvet upholstery. The expression on his face was so unreadable it drove Katie _mad_.

"So… it’s Keith that you are in _love_ with." She winced at that. Love was not a word to be used lightly but she supposed being pedantic about it now wasn’t going to work in her favour.

"Correct" she quipped, knowing full well that she was lying through her teeth. She hid her smile by taking a sip of her shake.

“I wrote him a letter too, so you can imagine how awkward things are going to be for me as is.”

“Whoa there. The Mullet got a letter too?”

If Katie didn’t know any better, Lance actually sounded jealous.

“Well, I wrote…a _lot_ of letters. To you, to Hunk, Keith, a few others you probably don’t know.”

“Hunk? Your _best friend_?” Suddenly, he didn’t look too confident anymore. It both relieved her and saddened her. In the back of her mind, she wondered how he knew that.

“In my defence, I was _vulnerable_.”

“And we all know that’s a rare occasion for you.” He dodged a flying garlic knot and laughed. She forgot how much she loved the sound of that. But his taunts weren’t over.

"Then let's date."

It took her several seconds to recover from choking on her milkshake.

"That...does not compute."

Lance leaned forward and gave her a dark smile that made her want to swoon like a medieval maiden. There was the mischievous glint in his eyes that made her forget to breathe.

"Let me help you catch your man."

The awestruck expression in her face probably gave him enough clues to know that she didn’t believe a word he was saying.

“Look, I know Keith. If you want to bag a guy like him, you have to make him jealous. And what better way to do that than with me? The most eligible bachelor of Altea?”

She rolled her eyes at that. Katie was certain Lance knew nothing about Keith. There was a one-sided rivalry to the two, however, and she hoped she wasn’t going to be part of a ploy to that.

“What about Jenny _Shay-bon_?” The name made him shift in his seat that Katie regretted saying it immediately.

“Jen won’t care. She’s after that new guy. Kinkade? I think that’s his name” she detected an undercurrent of hurt in his voice. But she wasn’t aware Jenny had broken up with Lance.

“Well, whatever it is, it’s a terrible idea. Absolutely no one will buy it.” A hand closed over hers almost immediately before she could leave the booth.

“You’re with Loverboy Lance now, _hermosa_. I will be your love tutor and you will be my other kind of boring tutor. It just works!”

If Katie was going to spend more time with him, she was going to have to _grow the fuck up_ and not allow her brain to short circuit every time he grabbed her hand and purred in Spanish.

“So…” His fingers twined around hers, he pulled it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

Oh, she was done for.

“…what do you say?”

* * *

 

The restaurant door jingled as Lance opened the door for her.

“Come back soon you two!”

“He seems pretty convinced.” Lance raised an eyebrow in a manner that read _I told you so_.

“Well, Sal’s not the one we’re trying to convince, are we?” she hissed. It was not her intention to sound harsh, but the situation was making it very hard for her brain to function. She turned around, trying to catch a glimpse of her supposed friends, but they had disappeared some time midway into her and Lance’s _negotiations_.

His hand came around hers and he clasped it gently. Her younger self would have fainted upon first contact, but she stood her ground. It was as warm as she thought it would be, and her hand felt smaller still in his.

“There’s no one to see us here” she grumbled reluctantly, shoving her other hand into her jacket’s pocket. Katie wasn’t sure, but she could have sworn a smile twitched on his lips.

“You’ll never know.”

As soon as the warmth of his hand permeated to her own, Katie jerked her hand away from him; her heart pounded in her chest. He stood far too close to her.

“I’ve not made up my mind yet, Lance.”

“ _Sure_ , Pidgey. And, where are you headed now?”

“Home?”

“Where’s your car?”

“I walked here.”

She must have sprouted an extra head with the way Lance looked at her. “No girlfriend of mine is walking home.”

She scoffed at that. “I live like _ten_ minutes away and need I remind you that I am _not_ your girlfr-…”

“Car’s right by the corner.”

He’d already thrown an arm around her – Katie forgot how _tall_ he could be sometimes – and semi-tugged her in its direction. An old, but obviously well-loved dark blue convertible Mustang came into view. She felt her heart sink to her sneakers.

“This old girl is Blue” he grinned as he opened the passenger door for her.

“Dad let me name her. You can tell I put a lot of thought into it.”

Katie didn’t miss the thinly-veined pain in his eyes despite his smile. She’d have to bring up his father at some point, but she had no sense of when an appropriate time was. As she dipped into the seat, he closed the door after her. As soon as he turned on the engine, the car filled with the soft croons of a Spanish singer.

“You’re awfully quiet, Pidge.”

She turned to look over at him. He didn’t seem bothered and his eyes trained on the road.

“I…I don’t talk much-” she didn’t want to add that it was out of fear of boring him with her ramblings that were usually boring to the average teenager, but something about being in his father’s car made her feel vulnerable enough to add, “-it usually bores people anyway.”

“Well, most people are boring. Not you, Pidgey.”

“You’re just saying that to be nice.”

He shook his head, a frown creasing on his brows as he glanced over at her for a brief moment.

“I think it was…your freshman year? You won the regional debate on the positive economic impact on space travel investment” she flushed at the memory. Her strong feelings on space travel made her a _very_ avid orator that day.

“Never seen someone so… passionate. It even made me switch over to applying for the Garrison’s Pilot program rather than the Cadets. It’s more competitive but…I forgot how much I loved space as a kid.”

They’d pulled into her driveway then and Lance reached forward to switch off the radio. In the silence between them, Katie wondered if he could hear how hard her heart was thumping.

“…I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Bye.”

There had to be a world record for the time she took to get out of his car. She hugged her backpack to her chest and dashed into her home.

* * *

 

_7 years prior_

“Hey, you okay?”

Katie lifted her head and sniffled. She wiped an arm across her eyes and squinted up at the figure hovering over her. The boy looked familiar – it was his eyes that made her remember. She saw him at the neighbourhood swimming complex when her mother tried to teach her to swim. He’d dove into the pool without hesitation and retrieved her sunken swimming goggles for her.

“Oh! I remember you! -” She watched as a wide grin formed on his face; just as a strange sensation sprang from within her chest.

“-You’re the girl that was too scared to get into the water.”

“I wasn’t scared!” she insisted with a huff, suddenly forgetting why she was even crying. The boy laughed, but not in a way that made her feel icky.

“It’s okay. My big brother was a little scared too. But he got used to it and he takes me there every week now!” Without thinking much of it, he plopped himself right next to her.

“Did the mean kids pull your hair again?” His voice came softer and Katie looked at him in surprise but only gave a nod in response. How did he know?

“They only do that ‘cause they’re jealous.”

Katie scoffed at that and folded her legs. “Of what? I don’t have anything they need.”

Lance looked at her incredulously. “You’re the smartest person in school! Your brains! That’s what they need.”

“No one cares about that...Nobody wants a nerd for a friend.” Her voice trailed off at the end as she rested her chin on her knees, hugging her legs closer to her chest.

“I’d be your friend.” He turned to her fully, eyes trained on her and his tone insistent.

She didn’t know why her face suddenly turned warm. It was as though she stood too close to the Bunsen burner. He shifted next to her and Katie watched him from the corner of her eye. A thought crossed his dark blue eyes and he pulled off his backpack. He rummaged around in it, tongue sticking out in concentration until his fingers grasped the object he was looking for.

“Girls like shiny things, right? I hope this makes you feel better! Jenny hated it, but I think you’d like it.”

It was a little silver charm, a tiny video game controller. Katie turned it over in her fingers curiously.

“It’s pretty.” she mumbled shyly.

“I heard you’re really good at video games. Maybe we should play it together some time!”

“Lance? Where are you?” The sudden deep baritone of an adult’s voice made Katie jump.

“Under the bleachers _papá_!”

The man’s head peered underneath, and his eyes rested evenly on Katie. A brow rose at her reddened eyes.

“ _Mijo_ , I sincerely hope you’re not responsible for this young lady’s tears.” His head disappeared, and he walked around the bleachers to face his son sternly. He kept his voice level.

“He was trying to cheer me up.” She spoke up softly, her eyes diverted away as the man turned to her in surprise. “He’s been nice to me. I promise.”

“Nathan and Peter were bullying her again.” He crossed his arms, looking frustrated. Lance’s father looked over to her in concern. He was intimidatingly tall and would have been a scary figure, but his eyes were kind and his voice was gentle.

“Do you want me to tell a teacher sweetheart? This is serious.” Katie shook her head furiously, her pony tail almost whipping Lance across the cheek.

“It really isn’t. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll protect her!” Lance quipped with an arm thrown around her shoulders. She turned to him in surprise; her cheeks were strangely warm again.

“Ah, well then. Good on you.” He went over to ruffle his son’s hair. “But child, the moment I catch wind of this again, I’d have to inform your parents. Know that I only do that because I want you to be safe.” She finally lifted her head towards him and nodded mutely. He tilted his head and recognition crossed his features.

“You’re Sam’s daughter, aren’t you? You have your mother’s eyes.” He smiled warmly at her, Lance had his smile. “Y’know, I knew a little boy that was a lot like you. Ridiculously smart but very, very shy. He got called names a lot, but he never let it get to him.”

He bent down so his eyes could be level with hers.

“Now he’s a successful scientist with a beautiful, intelligent daughter. Who, I hope, would have enough faith in herself to know she’s better than some meddlesome bullies.”

Katie - still flustered by the arm that squeezed around her - gave a meek nod in response.

* * *

 

“Here we are. Don’t forgot to call your brother, sweetheart. Don’t want him panicking when you’re not in school.”

“Of course. Thanks, Mr Serrano!”

“Anytime dear. Oh, and Katie?” She paused just as she was about to close the car door.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Her eyes lit up with recognition and she smiled wide. Her mother had taught her the quote too.

“I knew you’d recognise it. Live by it.”

“Bye Katie! See you in school!”

Lance gave her a winning smile and waved the entire time from the backseat till Mr. Serrano’s Mustang disappeared from view.

* * *

 

“Ready for bed, Kitty?” Collen poked her head into her daughter’s room.

“Almost, Mom.”

“What are you up to?” Hearing her mother step into her room, Katie slammed her diary shut and shoved it under her pillow. She heard a soft chuckle behind her as her mother sat on the foot her bed.

“Something interesting happen today?”

“Kind of.”

Colleen’s eyebrow rose, “Oh?” It was clear that she wanted to know more, and Katie hesitated for a few beats and once again, the strange warmth on her cheeks returned.

“ _Oh_ , I see what’s happening. My little lady’s in love!” Katie groaned as her mother giggled and pulled her to a hug.

“Mom! It’s not like that!”

“Hm. Then who gave you _this_?” Her finger prodded at the little charm Katie had strung onto a necklace.

“Just…someone nice.”

Her mother’s smile was wide. “Oh goodness, how sweet. That’s a pretty gift.”

“He just gave it to me because his girlfriend didn’t like it.” Her mother squinted at that, but her smile didn’t falter.

“Ah, so it’s a one-sided crush?”

Katie shrugged and glumly pulled the sheets around herself. Her mother’s hands gently brushed through her bangs.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. It happens.”

“I just…feel weird.”

“Yeah?”

“Whenever I see him now, I get this…feeling in my chest. Like a butterfly’s stuck in there.”

“That’s what a crush feels like.” Her mother nodded in understanding. Seeing her daughter’s mood, Colleen pinched her cheek.

“You know what I used to do? Write a love letter.” There was a mischievous glint in her eye that made Katie worry.

“No! I don’t want to say anything to them.”

“Not exactly _to_ them. You are _pretending_ to write a letter to them. Pour your heart out, write every emotion you feel. Once you’re done, put it in a box and lock it up.” She sat up from the bed and headed towards the closet and re-emerged with a little green box.

“Here, this will do. Slip the letters in here and lock it up wherever you want.”

Katie considered the box and looked up to her mom.

“You used to do that? Did you write letters to Dad?”

A strange look crossed her mother’s eyes. “Oh sweetheart, I can’t wait till you’re a little older. The kind of things I wrote. Goodness!” She chuckled and set the box down.

“But! It’s way past your bedtime now and I need my little scientist to rest her brilliant, racing mind for the required nine hours. You can start on it tomorrow after school.” She bent to kiss her daughter’s forehead.

“Goodnight Katie. I love you.”

“Love you too Mom.”

She waited till her mother’s footsteps reached the other end of the house before jumping out of her bed. From her drawers, she pulled out the set of pastel-toned stationery Shiro had gifted to her for her tenth birthday. Under the dim glow of her night light, Katie put pen to paper.

After affixing an approximate amount of heart stickers around the completed letter, Katie slipped the note into a pastel blue envelope. She went over to her closet where her mother had given her a little green box. Giving the letter a kiss, she dropped it under the lid and never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thank you to my beta for this chapter, cgf-kat! Also kudos to Adeline_Hatter for picking the pizza topping!


	4. The First Note

“You alright there girl?”

Kaltenecker mooed and nudged her snout against Katie’s palm. She smiled and rubbed the top of her head. “I’ll come back to change your hay after I feed the dogs.” The cow huffed as a sort of response and Katie closed the squeaky, metal gate behind her. Mud squelched underneath her boots as she made her way back to the main building.

The air was crisp, and Katie shivered as a cool breeze filtered through her thin work shirt. Summer was quick to go, and fall settled into Altea. The trees were shedding leaves, frost tinged on the grass and wisps of vapor escaped her lips as Katie lugged a bucket back indoors. Her heart wept for Kaltenecker – it can’t be fun being confined to a barn for the whole of winter – she was going to miss chewing on the fresh grass. It was strange to have a lone cow on the site, but Katie never really questioned it.   
  
After washing off the dirt on her boots with a hose, she stepped into the dog kennels and the heavy scent of wet dog hair and antiseptic hit her smack across the face. The first few times it had been unbearable, and she’d needed to rush out of the room to breathe fresh air. Eventually, she’d become accustomed to it.

The animal shelter was situated in the outer edges of the suburb. It had a wide, open field and was most frequented by people from neighboring suburbs. A small pets' clinic operated there as well. Katie had been apprehensive at the idea of meeting complete strangers at first but eventually, she found it helped her build her confidence in communicating with them. It helped that her love for animals came to the fore and finding them good, loving homes was a decent motivation.

Her steps echoed down the hall as she finally reached the lone, occupied section. Her lips immediately parted with a wide smile as her eyes rested on the half-asleep dark figure curled up on the floor.

“Aw, hey there cutie pie.”

A black husky puppy jumped at her knees and nearly knocked over her petite form. She giggled as she knelt, allowing herself to be pelted with slobbery kisses. His fur had patches of white and his eyes were a mysterious, bright yellow.

“I missed you too!” she giggled, she gently pushed herself up and gave him a scratch behind the ears. Already, she felt the tension leave her body. Here, she could relax and not think about school, homework and least of all, Lance Serrano.

“He’s adorable!” the voice made her jump and she looked up – way up. The girl looked to be about her age and it took her awhile to realize who exactly she was. Katie felt herself gulp. It was almost as if her thoughts alone could summon him, or in this case, someone close to him.

“What's his name?”

“Kosmo” she mumbled, unable to tear her gaze away from the stunning young woman before her.

It didn’t help that she looked like a near-exact replica of _him_ – only, her hair fell in luscious, dark waves and her eyes were a warm brown like her father’s but had a mischievous glint to them that was characteristic of Lance. It took her awhile to realize she must have been gawking for the girl had raised an amused brow.

“I’m new here. The name’s Rachel.”

“Katie” she stuck out her hand to shake hers. An exaggerated gasp left Rachel’s lips.

“Oh! You’re my brother’s girlfriend!”

Katie nearly corrected her, but she remembered that not everyone was privy to the fiasco of a fake relationship they plotted. Her copy of the contract they worked out was still neatly folded in her jacket pocket; she didn’t know why she didn’t want to look at it again.

“Um…something like that. We’re just getting to know each other for now.”

Rachel had an odd look to her – it reminded her of when her brother tried to set her up with Hunk way back when he thought she had a crush on him - a peculiar, almost-sinister grin.

Katie didn’t trust her.

Rachel tucked a stray curl behind her ear and knelt to pet the puppy.

“Lance speaks of you a lot. We’re just wondering when he’ll bring you home” Katie’s brows furrowed, but she smoothed over her features before Rachel could notice. They had an agreement! Their families weren’t supposed to get dragged into this. She had half a mind to send a very sternly worded text.

“Oh, and the letter was real cute.”

Forget a text. She was going to kill him.

* * *

 

_Dear Lance,_

_I can’t believe I’m writing a third letter to you. Let alone that I’m writing letters at all. It really should be so silly by now, having a crush this long probably is pretty pathetic. But I know ~~you’re too sweet~~ you won’t ever say that to my face. _

_Being away from you for the summer helped. I fell in love (what’s new) with someone else. He’s handsome, charming, smart and is almost as tall as you are. His name’s James Griffin – even his name is attractive. I even wrote him a love letter. Not that he’ll ever read it, but neither will you anyway._

_And just to clarify, this is NOT a love letter._

_But today, seeing you in those sinfully tight speedos on the beach, I’m certain my attraction and feelings for you are entirely biologically ordered. You are the paragon of male fitness and presumably, the study of anthropometry would use you as a textbook specimen of a swimmer’s body. In terms of the physics of hydrodynamics of course._

_Now that summer is over, and you’d probably move to wherever you would leave for college, I know for sure that I’m over you. I’m completely immune to you, Lance Serrano – probably the only male-loving person in Altea to. I’d be moving to Arizona forever, never to see you again. Thank quiznack for that._

_~~Love,~~ I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. _

_Katherine Holt._

_P.S. Who the fuck am I kidding. I’m still crazy about you._

Lance stared blankly at the letter in his hands. For the first time in a long time, he felt something of a jolt in his heart. The kind of jolts that previously only Jenny Shaybon, and to some extent, the new European girls, could bring out in him. And worse still, his cheeks were burning. He didn’t know he was capable of that from just looking at a piece of paper.

But this time it was different. The girl wasn’t even in front of him; all he had was her letter. The scribble was neat, but it was obvious from the smudges that it was written in a hurry. The letters were blocky, precise and straight yet conveyed emotion that he never saw in the mysterious Holt girl. None of the slanted, loopy handwriting that he’d seen in Jenny’s half-hearted responses to his love notes.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, he knew better than to compare her to Jenny.

“Another letter _mijo_? This Katie girl must really like you” his mother chuckled, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. He smiled and tucked the pale blue envelope into his pocket, not missing her curious gaze. He might have let her read the first one, but this one felt a little too… _personal_. He didn’t know why he was getting them and judging from her reaction when he’d gone to her home after receiving the first one, it didn’t look like it was intentional.

The first letter had been cute; it was clear that it was written a long time ago by a very young, vulnerable Katie. It made him smile; he’d forgotten the first time he spoke with her. He was glad she brought back the memory for him.

The newest one was only three weeks old.

He went to his mother’s side and bent to give her cheek a kiss.

“I think I like her too.”

* * *

 

There was a time Katie would not even consider walking by the swimming pool let alone _enter_ it. She did not know what compelled her here - actually, she had a good idea, but was far too much in denial to accept it - but she had only one goal in mind. The scent of chlorine was heavy in the air and Katie's mind brought back memories of her one-day stint trying to learn swimming with her mother. There were loud splashes as a few students jumped into the pool to do laps and a sharp whistle that made her wince as the coach barked orders to slackers.

No one noticed her entering and she preferred it that way. There were a small group of admirers on the stands next to the pool - a few not so discretely filming the swim team members stretching. To the side, she finally spotted her target. Mercifully, he was still dressed in shorts and a thin parka. His hair was damp, and it was not till he turned around to glance at the pool did she see that he was, in fact, shirtless.

She took in a deep breath and exhaled. She needed her wits about her if she wanted a firm conversation with him.

An ugly knot formed in her belly as he returned his gaze to the girls on the stands; most of them hung off his every word, with only a few that looked a little peeved to be around him. She wasn't going to be jealous of a boy that never was hers, or _anyone's_ for the matter. But it made her re-consider her confrontation.

Actually, she gave up the notion completely.

She slowly backed away from her spot by the bleachers, not noting the small puddle of water near the edge of the pool. She shrieked as she slipped, falling straight into the pool with as much grace as a dolphin on land.

Her nostrils filled with water as Katie struggled to find her footing. She threw out her arms, hoping to grasp the wall, the edge, _anything_.

And then, arms grasped her flailing body and lifted her above water effortlessly. She sputtered as she emerged, coughing up water.

If her luck was consistent, she was probably saved by _him_. Her face reddened as she slowly turned in her savior's arms. It was bad enough that she looked like death.

Instead of the tanzanite blue eyes Katie spent far too many dreams fantasizing about, she was met with indigo, dark-grey ones.

"Are you alright?"

As monotone as he sounded, he looked like he was genuinely concerned. She realized then that he was just standing. Her toes barely skimmed the tiles below and her fingers were clinging a little too tightly to his bare shoulders.

She was half-drowned _and_ humiliated. Wonderful.

"Uh, yeah. Nothing's broken...except for a wounded ego."

For the first time in probably all of Altean history, Keith cracked a smile. A tilt on the corner of his lips but it counted nonetheless.

" _Pidge_?"

She looked over to the pool's edge and sure enough, Lance was there. His eyes flashed with an emotion that she couldn't quite pinpoint, but his features softened as soon as he saw her pale, mildly spooked face.

" _Dios mio_. You look like a drowned cat."  
  
Exactly what a girl wants to hear from her crush of nearly seven years.

Keith guided her over to the steps leading out of the pool with an arm firm around her hips.

"You can let go of her now, _Keith_ " there was a touch of mild annoyance in Lance's tone.

The boy raised an eyebrow up at him. Keith _was_ loosening his grip on her as soon as she found her footing on the last step, but his arm grasped around her again, tighter.

"Or _what_?"

She gulped and gently pushed away from him. Lance grasped her arms as she shakily stepped out of the pool. She would have pushed his arms aside, but her body weighed down on her like she had bricks tied to her ankles and her thin arms could only handle so much.

"Are you alright, _mi reina_?"

"Just p-peachy" she forced through her teeth. She squeezed water off the edge of her sweater. He kept an arm around her as he brought her to the stands. A small crowd slowly formed around her, and she mentally groaned. Lance wrapped her in a towel, and used another to cover her dripping wet hair. She kept her eyes downward, her heart pounding in her ears. She should be cold, but her body was burning. Where was a wormhole when you needed one?

"Alright guys, give her some space. Nothing to see here."

She lifted her head in surprise, lifting the corner of her towel to watch Lance herd the amused spectators away from her end of the bleachers. Keith remained and knelt before her. He frowned down at her and it took a while to realize that he was looking at her ankle.

In her fixation of wanting to be sucked into a wormhole and have every particle of her being flung across the galaxy, Katie hadn't even noticed the pain radiating up to her calves. She bit her lip and winced as her brain registered the injury. She gripped the edge of her seat, knuckles turning white. He knelt before her and grasped her ankle, inspecting the joint with a firm but careful touch.

"Looks like it's a little twisted...but nothing serious" he released her ankle and stood straight.

"You sure you're alright?"

"I'll take care of her Keith. You can go back to being a benchwarmer" Lance returned, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Both boys were roughly of the same height - Lance an inch or so taller - but from the way Lance's chest puffed, it was clear he was trying to lord over him.

Keith rolled his eyes but returned his gaze to her.

"If you need me to take you to the nurs-"

" _Keith_. I'll do it. I'm the coach."

" _Assistant_ Coach. A temporary one."

Before Lance could growl a comeback, Keith dove back into the pool, joining the rest of the team in warm-ups. She tensed as Lance knelt before her, his own hand curling around her ankle to inspect it. He tugged at the laces of her -shoes- and Katie flushed, pushing her hands gently against his broad shoulders to stop him.

He looked up at her in confusion. "Does it hurt?" she shook her head and felt a flush burn on her cheeks as a frown knitted between his brows.

"You let K- Ah, never mind. You're probably still really shaken up, huh?" He looked annoyed for a hot moment, but his gaze melted away to one of defeat. He wasn't going to push her, and she was grateful for that.

She nodded mutely, and slowly pulled her legs to herself. Her gaze went over to the pool where Keith swam languidly, not quite listening to the coach barking something or another to the team.

"I'm still bringing you to the nurse."

"Okay, but just...I just need a minute."

"Of course," he pulled himself up and sat himself next to her.

Katie took in a deep breath and bit her lip. She kept her voice low, wary of the curious looks from the groupies thrown her way. “So, what was that thing with Keith?”

“What thing?” he replied innocently, running a hand through his damp hair.

“The hostility” she turned her head to watch his face. A strange look twisted over his features.

“We have… a rivalry thing” Katie had heard about that. What she also heard, and probably figured, was that it was very much one-sided. Keith was a lone wolf and could care less what others thought of him. The only reason their school hadn’t expelled him for truancy was because he was a valuable player of the competitive water polo team. Unsurprisingly, the athletes held unmitigated privilege and power.

“Also,” he quipped, giving her a nudge on the shoulder. His voice was rather flat for someone who was supposedly teasing. His hands found hers and he gently rubbed warmth back into them.

“Gotta make your _man_ jealous.”

* * *

 

"I'm driving you home."

"You don't have to."

"I know that I don't _have_ to Pidge. I want to."

"I'm not a child you know. I can take care of myself" her voice was a tad snappier than she intended and she immediately regretted it. Lance went so quiet she had to turn her head to make sure he was still standing behind her, arms lightly hovering, ready to catch her if she fell.

And he still was, but his face didn’t betray what his thoughts were.

"I never saw you as a _child_ , Pidge. You need help now and I'm giving you just that."

His voice was carefully gentle, and Katie felt guilt bore down in her chest. She turned her gaze away, the tips of her ears flaming. She’d changed out of her sopping wet jeans and sweater to her gym kit and, at Lance’s insistence, his jacket. With her short stature, she was dwarfed by his jacket; the ends coming down to her thighs and the sleeves needed to be folded several times to reveal her hands.

"I already texted Nadia and she's back home. Unless you want me to call your dad..."

"No! That's fine."

Her dad would blow this way out of proportion and the _last_ thing she needed was to be an inconvenience not only to Lance, but to the A &E department.

"Just...drive me home. Please."

"With pleasure."

She tensed as his hand rested on her shoulder, but she realized he was tugging her backpack off. Katie made to resist him, but his grip was too insistent, and she caved in way too easily. It _was_ nice to have the load off her; the various parts she hoarded from her robotics class weighed a ton.

"What do you have in here, bowling balls?!" he huffed, hoisting it over a shoulder.

His other arm curled around her shoulders and it took everything in her not to melt into his warm hold.

* * *

 

Lance was uncharacteristically silent on the drive home. The usual soft Spanish melodies weren't even playing on his stereo. She spied a look at the back of his car, noting how there were a few toys strewn about.

"Those are my niece and nephew's."

He said, looking over to her as they reached a red light. Katie returned her gaze to the front and nodded mutely. Lance checked the time on his dashboard and briefly touched her hand.

"If you don't mind, could we pick up them up from school? We took a little longer at the nurse's than I expected."

"Oh man, I told you to go ahead without me!"

"Don’t worry about it, they wait with the teachers. And what? You were going to limp back home?"

She rolled her eyes and leaned back into her seat in exasperation. The pain in her ankle had numbed down significantly with the cooling patch they'd given her. She could mostly walk short distances, but the painkillers meant that she couldn't drive for a few days. Lance had way too eagerly assured the nurse that he'd ferry her to and from school. From the corner of her eye, she saw him crack a smile and made the turn at the intersection, headed towards Altea North Elementary.

"They've been wanting to meet you."

"They know me?" Katie sat up in her seat. She'd seen his niece and nephew from the distance and vaguely recalled Lance posting pictures of them on his social media couple of years back. But she couldn't imagine how they'd know her.

"Of course. They'd love to meet their uncle's new girlfriend."

Her cheeks flushed, and she crossed her arms glumly. For a young man who evidently put his family above everything else, he certainly had no issue introducing his fake girlfriend to them.

Within a few streets, Lance pulled into the curb of the small elementary school where most of Altea's children attended. Katie spotted them immediately through the throng of children excitedly rushing out to meet their parents or to board the school bus.

"Nadia! Sylvio!"

Lance stuck his head out and Katie smiled as the two children's faces lit up. She gave them a shy "hello" as they boarded, noting how their wide, curious eyes rested on her for most of the ride. Lance asked them about their day as he pulled out of the school and back to the direction of Katie’s home. Sylvio was the chattier of the two and spent a full fifteen minutes describing the contest he and his friends had gotten into in making the most disgusting concoction out of cafeteria food. Nadia had to be prodded by her uncle – who, Katie noted, allowed his voice to soften to match hers – into talking about hers.

" _Tio_ , is this your girlfriend?"

Katie's pulled herself down the seat feeling dread pool in the pits of her belly.

"She's pretty _tio_!" Nadia's soft voice breathed by her ear till her uncle gently prodded her to put her seatbelt on.

Lance grinned at them through the rear-view mirror.

"Isn't she? She's real smart too. She's got into the Galaxy Garrison like _tia_ Ronnie."

"Whoa!"

"Really? Wow!"

She wished she knew how to speak with children; she was nowhere near the natural Lance was. They were truly, very sweet and clearly adored their uncle almost as much as he adored them.

* * *

 

"What happened to your leg?" Sylvio noted with concern as Lance hurried out of the car to help her out.

"I did something stupid and twisted it" she mumbled, hoping she didn't sound unfriendly. She gave them a meek wave to their enthusiastic goodbyes and opened the car door before Lance could.

She tried to push Lance aside, but as soon as she realized that her injured leg had fallen asleep, she took his arm and leaned on him to pull herself out of the car. He swooped in and grabbed her backpack before she could and rested an arm around her waist. With their height difference, Lance bore most of her weight, taking the pressure off her weak ankle.

"It'd be a lot easier if I just carried you."

"Not. Happening" she hissed under her breath. The door to her home opened and sure enough, her father's pale face awaited her. Seeing Lance helping her up the small flight of stairs, his features visibly relaxed.

"Oh, thank you Lance. I worried myself sick thinking she walked home on her own."

" _Dad_ , it's not broken."

"It might as well _get_ broken with how stubborn you can get" he'd said it with affection, but Katie frowned nonetheless.

"Don't mention it Mr. Holt" he gave him a dazzling smile. He didn't release her till he guided her over to the couch. He knelt before her to check on her ankle again and she brushed away thoughts of how warm his fingers felt on her bare skin.

"The swelling's gone down" his thumb brushed over her heel and she shivered. He pulled himself upright and tucked his hands into his jacket pockets.

"You'll recover over the weekend, but I'll come over to pick you up on Monday."

She hated how amused her father looked.

“Stay for a bit, Lance.”

“Ah, I’d love to Mr Holt, but I gotta drop the kids off at my mom’s.”

“Oh, of course. But you need to have dinner with us one of these days” he ignored Katie’s pointed look thrown at his direction.

“I’d like that!”

“Actually, Lance is _very_ busy.”

“Am I?” Lance looked at her with a too-wide grin.

“Yes. In fact, we need to start those tutoring sessions if you want that spot at the Garrison.”

“Ah! I’ve heard you made it through the first round. That’s wonderful! You should come by Monday evening and Katie can tutor you and you can leave with a full belly.”

“Or a sick one” she mumbled under her breath.

* * *

 

Katie rummaged through her backpack, carefully laying out the leftover parts she'd hoarded from her robotics class. She'd been eyeing a particular robot's design at the Garrison and had been toying around with the possibility of recreating a better model.  
  
As she opened the front zipper to pick out the wires, a small green post-it fluttered out. It was folded in half and the green was a shade darker than the ones she used. With a frown, she picked it up. The handwriting was not one she'd seen before. The print was narrow, with broad confident strokes. And yet, he'd drawn a stupid little heart on the corner of the paper.  
  
_To my lovely pichoncita,_  
  
_I like you too. I think about kissing you and holding your hand. Pity our contract doesn't allow the first part. I'm a damn good kisser._  
  
_x Your lover boy_  
  
She felt her cheeks warm and nearly crumpled the note in frustration. Nearly seven years of knowing him and he still had that effect on her. He didn't even need to be in front of her this time.  
  
"Katie! Dinner's ready!"  
  
"I'll be right there, Dad!"  
  
She looked about her room until her eyes zeroed in on her closet. The green box was still there; empty, but just as serviceable. She tucked the note in it, slid the box beneath a pile of clothes and rushed downstairs.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Do leave me your thoughts, they encourage me to write!


	5. The First Move

 

 

_Two weeks prior  
_

_Sal's Pizzeria_

"So, how are we doing this?"  
  
Katie's brow furrowed with thought and she reached for her backpack. She pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. "We establish some ground rules."  
  
Lance blinked; he somehow didn't see this coming.  
  
"Rules?"  
  
"Yes. And boundaries, really."  
  
He looked blankly at her and eventually shrugged. He pulled himself out of his seat whilst grabbing his wallet and Katie frowned.  
  
"Whoa there. Where are _you_ going?"  
  
"I'm… paying? Make your rules, I'll be right back."  
  
"Yeah, no. Not happening. See, this is exactly why we need rules."  
  
She furiously scribbled on the paper and shoved it towards him.  
  
_1\. One person shall not bear the full financial burden of the pseudo relationship. Any expenses incurred shall be split evenly._  
  
Lance rolled his eyes and slid it back over to her.  
  
"Well, write in my own rule. I always pay for dates. At the very least, the first one."  
  
"Well it's a good damn thing we're not actually dating."  
  
He hid the wounded expression on his face by glancing over to Sal, who'd peered curiously over to the pair from his kitchen. Lance doubted the portly, middle-aged man could hear the conversation but the tension between him and Pidge could probably be felt for miles.  
  
"Just this once, let me take care of it. Here on out, we'll split. Happy?"

He could see her little nose furrowing in frustration and the only thing he could think about was wanting to kiss the cute smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose. She sighed and gave a reluctant nod. "Fine."  
  
He gave a weak smile, but as soon as he turned away from her, his smile dropped and tucked his hands into his jacket pockets. This was not how he had intended for things to go. Sal had a knowing look about him as he rang up their bill.  
  
"Looks like you're already learning about compromise, my boy," Sal chuckled as he handed him his change.

“Don’t I know it,” he grumbled, tucking his wallet back into his pocket and sauntering back to their booth.

* * *

  
  
"What else do you have on there?"  
  
Katie looked up from the notepad where she had written what looked like a full on corporate contract. Forget science, the girl needed to pursue a career as a contracts lawyer. "Well, I added no kissing, hand-holding or _any_ other forms of physical affection."

Lance blinked at her again and frowned. "What? Did you think I was going to force myself on you?"

"No! I just think it's better this way."

 _For my own sake_ , Katie mentally added as she pushed the contract into his view. Lance dragged it closer to him incredulously as his eyes ran through it.

"No hand holding?! And no one is going to believe us if we don't kiss. Physical affection is how I show my love."

"I'll let you… hold me around the waist."

Lance thought for a bit and slowly nodded. "Fine, that's at least somewhat affectionate. But can't I give you kisses to the cheek? Forehead? You really want to miss out on _this_?"

He leaned his elbows on table as his fingers curled around her hand. His hand easily engulfed hers and his fingers slipped between the gaps of hers. Just as he lifted their joined hands and pressed his lips on her wrist, right over her pulse, Katie’s heart stopped beating. How in the hell did she convince herself that she could get off easy with this?

“Wait… have you not had your first kiss?” Lance leaned forward, squinting at the blush that dusted over her freckled cheeks.  
  
“I have!” she huffed, pushing his face away for the umpteenth time. He seriously had no concept of personal space.  
  
“ _Really_? Who?” his voice was teasing, and his cheek rested on their joined hands.

“You don’t know him.”

“Just say his name.”

“James Griffin.”

The name made him pause and the smirk dropped from his lips, but Lance slowly nodded. Katie tugged her hand away from his and cleared her throat. “Anyway, I’ll allow it. Only when it’s _really_ necessary. Also, we're not bringing our families into... this." Her hands gestured to the space between them and Lance chuckled and slid back into the booth; this time, right next to her.

"Have you _met_ my family? I'm surprised one of my siblings hasn't come by to suss you out yet."

"Suss me out?"

"Yeah, you know, to see if you're worthy of being a future Mrs. Serrano." He gave her a little nudge and winked. Katie jerked her head away before he could see her flushed cheeks. Then again, she considered, it might be the perfect opportunity for her father to stop worrying about her.

"Fine, I'll shelf that rule for now. But for as far as possible, we're not to _wilfully_ bring our families into this."

"Too late for me. My family's already been asking me to bring you home."

_"What?!"_

"Don't worry. They like you. I think our dads used to know each other."

The mention of his father made him wistful and it was like being doused in cold water for Katie. But before she could part her lips to talk about his father, he'd already reached for the contract. "I also want to add, that you have to let me drive you and… for you to agree to go to the Canadian Exchange trip to Balmera High with me."

"I already have a carpool thing with Nadia and... why the trip?"

Lance gave a light shrug. "I have a good feeling Nadia won't mind. Her car would be safe now-" Katie rolled her eyes and began drafting another copy of the contract for him. "- and it's a scenic trip. On the last day, we go to a ski lodge. I’ve been drafted as a chaperone."

"I don’t know how to ski. I don’t want to either."  
  
Or do any other sports for the matter. Katie's small stature usually didn't make her a suitable candidate for most sports; unless it was in the video game format.

"Wait, isn't that the trip where couples go to-" her skin flushed with the implication. Lance smirked at her and leaned forward to brush a kiss to her temple. His lips left a burning print on her skin that she knew she'd feel for the next few hours.

“ _No_.”

"Don't you worry. I'll be the perfect gentleman."

Katie gave him the side-eye, but added in the new rules anyway. She knew Hunk was going for the trip and she could spend a good portion of the time third-wheeling him and Shay. Being invisible was something she was very good at after all.

Lance was now peering over her shoulder, sitting unnecessarily close as she made the additions to his copy. She pushed his face away from her and signed her contract and his with a flourish. She tilted the pen towards him and when he didn't take it, she glanced over to him.

"Something the matter?"

"Add that… you’ll let me write love notes to you.”

“… _why_? We don’t have to go that far. No one would expect to read them.”

The expression on his face was unreadable. He shrugged and grabbed the pen from her, writing it into the contract himself.

“Again, it’s how I show my affection.”

* * *

 

 

_Present day_

Lance wiped the sweat off his brow as he scrubbed the last of the dirt from his dad's car. It still made him uncomfortable to think that it was now _his_ car; even if his father left it to him, it was always going to be his father's car in his heart. He still remembered the day his father taught him to drive. It still baffled him how much his father trusted his teen-aged self to steer his favored vintage vehicle. His fingers squeezed the sponge dry and he dropped it back into the bucket, stepping back to inspect his work. The car gleamed with his careful cleaning and the brilliant dark blue of the body looked almost good as new.   
  
"Lance!"

He turned his head as he wiped his hands on a towel. Rachel bounded down the stairs to the garage with a look of glee. Had it been any other instance, Lance would have been eager to know what has made his sister have that fiendish smile plastered on her face. But this time, he just _knew_ in his gut, that he wasn't going to like it. Her eyes sparkled with mischief - Lance didn't trust her.

"You won't _believe_ who I met at the animal sanctuary the other day."

Dread weighed down on his shoulders. He expected this and yet somehow, didn't think his sister would go this far.  
  
"...who?" he asked flatly while his eyes narrowed; he already knew the answer. Lance recalled Hunk briefly mentioning in passing that Pidge volunteered there on Wednesdays. He didn't think she would be the type of girl who’d enjoy getting her hands dirty; but then again, he only did start to get to know her. 

Pidge was right, bringing in their families was disastrous. He should never have shown them the letter. In his defense, he'd initially only shown it to his mother, who eventually let it slip to his _abuela,_ who then gabbed to his nephew and then the next thing he knew, his entire family was pestering him about when he was going to bring home the "Holt girl".

"Katie. Holt. The girl from the letter!"

Lance frowned, "You just _happened_ to be at the animal sanctuary she worked in?” His sister blinked innocently and tucked her hands into her jacket. "What? I like animals."

"You tried veganism for a week and then said you'd rather eat cute animals raw than eat tofu meat again."

Rachel waved a hand dismissively to his face. "Whatever, you know I had to check up on her."

"Rachel, it's sweet that you're trying to protect me, but Pidge is no Jenny."

"How can you be so sure?"

As Lance shrugged and picked up the pail of dirty water, Rachel tailed after him insistently. It was clear she was not going to let this one slide as she continued, "We barely know anything about this chick, she's such a cryptid."

"She's just private!" he didn't know why he sounded so defensive. Rachel's eyes were wide with the realization. "Oh my god, you like her? Already?"

"Not in the way you think! I told you, we're just… getting to know each other." Heat rushed up his neck in a way Lance never experienced before. He dumped the dirty water into the drain, not even noting how the dirty water splashed on his washed-out jeans.

Rachel sighed behind him. "God, you already have it bad for her. This is why you keep having your heart broken. You fall too easily, trust too easily-"

A twinge of irritation overcame him, and the firm tone he replied her with surprised him. "Jenny is _not_ Pidge, Rach. And what is she going to do to me? She's crazy smart and her _entire_ family's being posted to the Garrison next year. If anybody has the upper hand, it's _her_."

Rachel parted her lips to argue back but she huffed in annoyance and dropped her arms.

"Besides, she's helping me with the admissions test. You'd think a girl that was trying to take advantage of me would do that?" he continued as he stored the bucket back in cupboards.  
  
"She is?" Rachel walked to his side, touching his arm lightly. Lance nodded and reached into his jeans pocket. He pulled up his texts with her from his phone, sent just last night. She'd given him _homework_ and even prepped questions for him to work out in his spare time. Rachel scrolled through them incredulously, but paused at the last few texts sent at midnight.

**_L: Sleep soon, mi pichoncita. I hate seeing you look so tired in the mornings._ **

**_P: Don't tell me what to do._ **

**_L: I love you too. x_ **

"I didn't say you could look at that," he grumbled as he snatched his phone back from her, the tips of his ears now pink. Rachel squinted over to her brother, looking closely at his expression.

"You're _blushing."_

"I'm not. It's just hot out."

"It's fall!"

"Speaking of fall, it's your turn to clear out the leaves from the porch." Rachel growled and trudged back into the house. Lance smiled to himself and pulled out his phone again. His thumb stroked over his lock screen photo of her. She had been napping in the computer lab, various robot parts and wires strewn around her. She was drooling, and her short hair was askew.

Lance thought she was cuter than a puppy.

* * *

 

Katie stared at the text on her phone, her flushed cheeks hidden beneath her scarf.

**_I love you too. x_ **

She knew not to take it seriously. They were _pretending_ to be a couple after all, under the guise of her being so madly in love with Keith no less. Her mother up above wouldn’t be too happy to know how big her web of lies had become.

As brilliant as her teachers said she was, Katie honestly hadn't had a single clue how she was going to dig herself out of this mess. Would Lance believe her if she said she fell out of love with Keith? That she liked someone else instead? Perhaps someone that didn't even live in Altea.  
  
Immediately, her mind zeroed in on one individual. James Griffin.

Yes, he was perfect. James lived in New York and there was absolutely no way she nor Lance could run into him. She mentally cringed at the thought of her letter to him, but the thought that their paths may never cross again was of some solace to her.  
  
"Pidge! You were supposed to pick a dare for Hunk!"

She blinked up from her phone and quickly tucked it into the pocket of her hoodie. "Um...I dare you to… hack the Principal’s computer!"

Hunk paled and shriveled in his seat, "Pidge! Are you _trying_ to get me expelled?"  
  
"What? Just hide the IP and override the school's firewall. It's easy."

"Okay, I have no idea what you two are talking about, but it sounds boring as heck. Alright, Allura? Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

Romelle tapped her chin thoughtfully and looked over to Hunk for help. He was far too busy protecting his nose from the stench of the _thing_ Romelle had found in the cafeteria. It looked like a sausage roll; at least, _was_ a sausage roll. The bread had turned black and green and the sausage itself suspiciously normal, but had been coated in mustard that was quickly turning furry.

"Hm... who do you find the most attractive in this school?"

"You already know that," Allura blushed and toyed with the edge of her skirt.

"Do I?" Romelle blanked and stared at her cousin. Hunk nudged the blonde.

"It's Keith," though with his nose covered, it sounded more like _ifs keef._

"Oh, the ' _emo_ ' one” Romelle groaned in disappointment.

"Don't call him that! He's just… mysterious."

"And stupendously _boring_. Goodness cousin, I would have thought you had better taste after the fiasco with Lotor."

"Who's Lotor?" Hunk winced at the sacrifice of opening his mouth and wrapped his scarf around his head.

"Oh, he’s this _dreadful_ wanker who Allura had the misfortune of dating back in England. His father is a family friend but him? A _nemesis_."

Allura rolled her eyes at her theatrics and turned to Katie, "It's your turn now."

Katie blinked as she shook herself out of counting pi - it helped distract her brain from the heavy, putrid scent that quickly filled the room.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," she mumbled as she rubbed the exhaustion from her eyes. She'd spent all night working on her robot and slept for maybe an hour or two at most.

"Aw, c'mon Pidge. You've been picking Truth for the past four rounds!"

"New rule. You are not permitted to pick Truth more than three times…. That means, _Hunk_ \- _"_ Romelle squinted over to her friend, "-you are on thin fucking ice." Allura clapped her hands before a scuffle could break out in the computer lab. Her eyes lit up in a way that made Katie _very_ nervous.

"So! Pidge. Your dare will be…" A smirk twitched to her lips as her blue eyes focused on the wary girl.

"...to kiss your _boyfriend._ "

Romelle's eyes lit up and she quipped "Yes! And right now! He's with the water polo boys is he not? Do it right in front of them." Seeing Katie's appalled look didn't faze either of them one bit, so her reply was quick.

"Nope."

"I. Dare. You." Romelle emphasized, bringing herself closer to her face with each word till her nose pressed to hers. Katie's flat look was not enough to convey the message.

"C'mon guys, she chickened out. There's only one option for her now," Hunk gestured to the revolting piece of... _something_ on the paper plate. Surely, health hazards during games like this had to be illegal? Her stomach churned just by looking at it and bile rose to her throat as she momentarily allowed herself to gasp for air.  
  
She had the absurdly difficult choice between kissing a gorgeous boy that'd no doubt would love to be kissed randomly by a woman (maybe not from _her_ per se) and eating what looked like a radioactive by-product of an experiment gone very wrong. Any other hot-blooded woman wouldn't hesitate the way she did.

"Y'know what…” a strange feeling took over her body as she straightened her back.

“I'll take you up on that challenge."

* * *

 

She was possessed. There was no other reasonable explanation for why, despite her brain screaming at her legs to stop walking, they marched on; right in the direction of the school's swimming pool.

Her arms betrayed her as she pushed open the double doors. Her dramatic entry immediately caught the attention of the people on the bleachers. The din quietened, but there was no silence. Loud whispers followed her as her eyes scanned the room and landed on her target. He was looking right at her and boy, did he look frightened.

Her feet moved again, and she brought herself right in front of him. He had just pulled himself out of the pool, a whistle dangled off his neck and his swimming trunks tight and low on his hips. Katie gulped.  
  
"Something the matter Pidge?" he breathed nervously, still panting lightly from making his rounds in the pool. His body still gleamed with moisture and water dripped from the ends of his hair and down the defined lines of his abdomen. She forced her eyes upward; at least she still had control over them.

"Bend down," she hissed. In the back of her mind, she marveled at how easily he complied. He stooped down slowly to meet her eyes and before he could prod her with another question, she sealed her lips to his.

This time, a hush settled over the room.

Even the coach, who'd usually be barking orders at a team member at any one second, stopped mid-bark to gawk. A water polo ball flew and hit a distracted swimmer square in the head.  
  
Her small hands rested on his bare shoulders, where she felt his muscles tense beneath her fingertips. Lance's eyes were wide, but he recovered from the shock quickly enough. She felt him smirk against her lips and never had she wanted more than anything to throw him back into the pool. She parted from him quickly as she had started, but the heat from his lips lingered on hers, as did the aftertaste of chlorine. His eyes were full of mirth, but what she didn't notice, with the bright overhead lights, was the flush that had found its way on his cheeks.  
  
"Carry on, Lance."

She gave a curt nod, patted his shoulder and marched off as she had when she came in with the double doors swinging closed after her.

* * *

 

If it weren't for the wolf whistles and suggestive taunts from the boys in the pool, Lance would have thought he hallucinated the whole thing. He extended himself to his full height, forgetting that he was still hunched over, and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
What in the world had just happened?  
  
It was the sort of stunt Jenny would pull. But he never imagined, not even in his wildest dreams that Pidge, _his_ Pidge, had it in her to do something like that. Not when the girl turned red as a tomato just at the mere _thought_ of holding his hand.

"Mr. Serrano?"

Uh oh.  
  
He turned slowly and pulled his brightest smile for the Coach who stalked furiously towards him. He became fully aware of the stupid, love-struck expression on his face upon seeing the irritated expression of his boss.

"Coach Sanda! You look radiant today."

"Lose the charm, Serrano. I trust we won't have this happening again?"

Lance had half a mind to explain to her that he could never predict what Katie Holt could bring herself to do and how unpredictable she can get; but instead, settled for a meek, "of course" and a promise to collect the dirty towels at the end of practice for the next few weeks.

* * *

 

As Katie packed her textbooks into her locker, a familiar green post-it fluttered free from between her books.

She turned from her locker and bent to pick it up - only to have it snatched away by a perfectly manicured hand. She frowned and stood up, bumping right into someone's chest. Someone's _very_ busty chest. She flushed and stepped back, an apology ready on her lips; but she stopped herself as soon as her eyes lifted to see who it was.

She watched as the girl before her frowned at the note before crumpling it between her long fingers.

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here, Holt."

Jenny Shaybon.

Katie gulped discreetly but lifted her head in defiance. She wasn't going to let her scare her into submission.

Jenny twirled her long, bleached hair in her fingers while she appraised the petite girl before her. She had an Amazonian height; all long, tanned legs and lithe curves. It was what made her suited to be a cheerleader as well as a star track and field athlete. From what she'd overheard from Romelle's gossip sessions with Hunk, she was on track to earning a full ride at an Ivy, but was planning to transfer to the Garrison in her second year.

"I do go here Jenny. Have been for the last four years."

"I don't give a shit. I'm talking about sticking your tongue down Lance’s throat. He's _mine_."

"Last I checked, owning people is _still_ illegal."

Jenny scoffed and narrowed her pale blue eyes at her. In the back of her mind, Katie couldn’t help but think she looked like a comic book villain. Probably one with an ice-theme from her frosty blue eyes.

"Listen, I don't take kindly to-"

"Hey Jen, if you’re here, who’s guarding Hades?” Nadia sauntered over to her side and threw an arm around Katie's shoulders. She gave Jenny a wide, innocent smile and tugged Katie closer to herself.

"This has nothing to do with you Rizavi."

"Actually, it kind of does. You're bothering my friend and it _kinda_ pisses me off."

Katie couldn't help but to turn her head to her in wonder. Even though she'd felt her veins her freeze over with Jenny's confrontation, Nadia's words thawed them.

" _Jenny_!"

The bleached blonde glared menacingly at the two of them; her gaze lingered over at Katie's for a good long moment, before she flipped her high ponytail and sashayed over to her small group of minions.

"Girls and other tropes like her should have died in the early 2000s, yikes. You alright there Ka- oh god, Katie. Please don't cry over that brat."

Katie wiped away her tears and laughed with a sniffle.

"I'm fine," her arms sneaked their way around the taller girl’s waist, "I'm just… happy. Thank you."

Nadia's gaze softened, and she waved her off with a shy smile.

"Don't mention it, and don't get sappy on me! Jeez." But she gave her a comforting squeeze and a light peck on the top of her head.

"Rizavi! Trying to steal my girlfriend?"

Nadia turned to see the tall, lean figure that has been the source of great amusement – and gossip – for her.  
  
"You bet!"

Katie groaned and buried her face onto Nadia's shoulder. He had to appear at the worst possible time. She already felt Jenny's icy gaze piercing onto her back. She was _so_ close to getting through high school unscathed. Senior year really had to be when all the stability that came from invisibility came crashing down.

Nadia's arms loosened around her as she put in the combination for her own locker.

"I have to get going to track. You kids have fun! Have her home by seven, Serrano!" she slammed her locker shut and winked at Katie who just gave her friend a pleading look to not be left alone with him.

"Will do Rizavi." Lance smirked as the girl bounded down the hallway with her gym kit slung over her shoulder.

"I wish I had half her energy," she mumbled, looking over to him with her arms wrapped around herself. Lance's lips parted for a reply but as soon as his eyes rested down on her own misty-eyed ones, he frowned.  
  
"Have you been crying?" his hands were firm on her shoulders and his blue eyes darkened. "Was it Nathan again? Or what's-his-face, I can't remember. Either way, those guys are toast when I’m done with them."  
  
Katie couldn't help but shiver. He looked like he was ready to wring somebody dry for supposedly making her cry. "Nadia did. But not for the reasons you think. I'm _fine_."

From the corner of her eye, she spied Jenny stalking her way towards them. With a boldness that she didn't know she had in her before, she grasped his lapels of his jacket and tugged him down to her eye level. There was only a moment's hesitation on her part before she closed her eyes tightly and pressed her lips to his.  
  
She thought she heard a scandalized gasp from somewhere behind her and a sort of silence fell in the hallway right before descending into loud whispers. But as soon as his warm, chapstick-ed lips pressed to hers, everything else melted away. It took him awhile to respond and Katie felt his arms slowly curl around her hips, tugging her close to his chest. He held himself back, she could tell. He was letting her be in full control of the kiss.

"Remember to breathe, _mi reina,_ " he murmured against her lips as a hand lifted to bury itself in her hair. As soon as his fingers gently tugged at the short, wispy ends of her bob, she pulled away. He was right, she'd forgotten to breathe and the redness from her face showed it. He looked down at her through his lashes, giving her a look that made her knees more unstable than a uranium isotope. His eyes flicked down to her lips again and Katie’s heart skipped several beats.

" _Get some Pidge!_ " Giggles and snorts of laughs of laughter filled the hallway as Katie buried her face into her quasi-boyfriend's chest; their little bubble was burst. She felt his chest rumble with a chuckle and she lifted her head with a frown.

"You find this funny?" she hissed, trying to - and reluctantly - step away from the warm cage of his arms.

"Of course not. I find it cute," he accented the statement with a kiss to her nose that made her heart skip several beats. "I've gotten two kisses today from my girlfriend. _Papá Noel_ gifted me early this year." Like the good quasi-boyfriend he was, he grabbed her bag and led her out of the school with an arm around her waist.

She missed Jenny's death glare.

* * *

 

Nadia spun in her swivel chair as Katie carefully combed through their project once more. The excitable girl inspected the half-built robot on her friend’s desk and then appraised the organised chaos that was her room "Huh. It seems like this place gets messier every time I visit."  
  
"Hush, I'm trying to debug." Katie tapped through to the final module and within seconds, she scanned it and hit enter. She sat back and stretched, a satisfied smirk on her lips as the program ran successfully.

"There we are. All good to go."

"So that 100 is a guarantee? 'Cause I'll be real pissed if we get a 99 again. You can’t hold me back from throwing bricks at Mrs. Montgomery’s computer this time.”

“Trust me, I’ll be right there handing you bricks if that happens.”

Katie handed the laptop over to her for her to check. Her phone buzzed with a message and she shielded her screen from her friend’s curious gaze.

“Another text from your _amore_?”

Katie’s flush from reading the text was her answer.

“Watching you get flustered is so much fun. So, what is it this time, did he write a poem? A song?”

“He just told me to sleep early. He’s taking me out somewhere tomorrow.”

As the third week of term came to a close, Katie reflected on how wildly things had changed. She’d went from being an invisible nerd to becoming the girlfriend of an arguably well-loved dorky jock. They even had a set routine; everyday, he drove her home. On odd days, he stayed for tutoring after work and then told her stories about he boasted about her to Keith. She didn’t doubt the last part and somehow just _knew_ that Keith was just going to be very irritated by the sight of her alone by the end of the month.

Today, she kissed him _twice_. Sure, the first one had been a dare. But the second? She sunk down on her pillows glumly and hugged one to her chest. She didn’t know why she kissed him.

When he drove her home that afternoon, she'd quietly apologized for kissing him without his consent. His only reply was his loud laughter and he even gave her a soft kiss to her cheek in goodbye after he walked her to her door.  
  
The lack of a hug made her pout.

Katie had to wonder where they stood. They were friends, at the very least. She’d found out he loved Star Wars as much as she did. They’d played video games on her _couch_ and, - much to her father’s amusement - hugged each other when he left.

A secret that she would take with her to her grave was that she _adored_ his hugs. They were toasty warm, and left her heart fluttering and wanting more even hours after he was gone. The fresh scent of him and his underlying natural musk was addictive; it was only _partly_ the reason why she had yet to return his jacket. It was doing no favors for her carefully formulated plan on getting over her him.

“You _love_ him,” Nadia teased, her lips made kissing noises. She laughed and dodged the pillow Katie flung her way.

“It’s not like that. We’re just… getting to know each other.” That excuse was getting old, she needed to come up with a list of new ones.

“Getting to know the insides of each other’s mouths you mean?” she cackled louder this time, throwing back the pillows flung her way. It just took one day for Katie to gain a reputation. Her phone had blown up earlier with messages from Allura, Romelle and even Hunk; all texts of disbelief of the fact that she had gone through with the dare, and that she’d done it again in full view of everyone in the hallway.  
  
She thanked her good senses that she deleted her social media accounts ages ago. She’d rather be blissfully unaware of the sort of gossip that was probably going around. At the very least, the most dramatic things have happened closer to the weekend. It meant new gossip overtook the mill by the time Monday rolled around.  
  
But was it _really_ just an excuse? It was _mostly_ the truth. Just yesterday, she learnt he was scared of snakes and that he had a mermaid phase much like she did. Not that she cared. She learned he was addicted to garlic knots; secretly loved Nicholas Sparks movies (something that she'd relentlessly teased him about) that even his sisters hated and for several months now, was learning to cook from his mother.

“Do you love him?”

The question made her freeze up, but the quiet and instinctive reply of “I don’t know” made her friend frown. Nadia threw a paper ball at her face and Katie blinked as it bounced off her forehead. “Pidge, you either love him or you don’t there’s no in-between.”

“Well, my brain doesn’t follow classical binary constraints. It’s a quantum computer and all my inputs are constantly _spinning_.”

Nadia snorted at that and dragged the chair closer to her by her bed.

“So how long have you loved him?”

“I don’t _love_ him. It’s just a stupid crush.”

Pidge’s eyes widened, and she turned to her friend with a frown. “Wait, how did you find out? Did Romelle tell you?!”

“You just told me.”

The wide grin on Nadia’s face was unbearable and Katie groaned into her hands.

“Why are you so secretive about it anyway? He clearly likes you back. The way he looks at you makes me think you guys will be engaged by the time the year’s out.”

“That’s not funny Nads,” Katie mumbled through her fingers. She was certain the _look_ Nadia was referring to was the one of taunting. It had to stroke any boy’s ego knowing how much a girl liked them; especially with those embarrassing letters of hers.

The letters.

The thought made her sit up and Nadia tilted her head curiously her way but eventually returned her gaze to the laptop.

Which of the letters had Lance received? He only held _one_ blue envelope that day at Sal’s. Where were the other two? Her body chilled at the thought of him reading her most recent letter - if he did, she’d have to change her name and permanently relocate to a remote location. She would never be able to interact with polite society; her father; _anyone_ , if just any fragment of that letter was in his hands.

The only person who could help her was out of reach, by her own neglect. She couldn’t chicken out anymore; a call was _long_ overdue. She groaned and fell back into the bed, suffocating herself with the pillow.

Nadia shook her head and mumbled under her breath.  
  
“Heteros.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know your thoughts about this chapter! ♥


	6. The First Barrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Reem/Engineer104 & Madiletio for beta-ing! ♥
> 
>  
> 
> CW: Jenny "Thot" Shaybon, petty teenage jealousy and a good dollop of constipated feelings!

A whole month passed since their first official date. He took her to the very beach Katie saw him on the last weekend of her summer break. Mercifully, he kept his pants on, but she would be lying if she said they didn't hold hands more than was necessary. They talked about school, their friends and how she was gearing up for the robotics exchange at Balmera.

Dozens of dates that followed after - from the study sessions in her home, more rides to the beach and, at his insistence, attending his team’s tournaments. (She was pretty sure the last one was so he could peacock in those trunks of his.)

The line between their pseudo relationship and, well, _something else_ , slowly blurred and it made her want to retreat back into the safe cocoon of her old self. Uncertainty unsettled her. She needed tangible figures - things she could analyze and process - and none of the unexplained variables and high degrees of uncertainty their relationship - was it even a _relationship_? - brought.

Last night proved that she couldn’t go on with their charade any further.

She shook her head, clearing her racing mind and refocused on her laptop.

A finger poked at her shoulder. “How did your date with Serrano go?”

Katie groaned and covered her eyes. _Of course_ Nadia noticed her melancholy.  “It wasn’t a date. I just had lunch with him at his house.”

“Oh?” Nadia sipped her protein shake, tilting her head to look at her while Katie worked on perfecting her robotics presentation on her laptop. Katie didn’t respond, and the girl sighed and flopped back to her passenger seat. Nadia’s instincts were right - she probably saw her leave Lance’s car last night in a bad mood. There _was_ something else that happened, but she wasn’t going to reveal it at that very moment, not when there were so many prying ears about.

"Ladies, we'll be taking off soon, please stow away all electronic devices." The air steward looked pointedly at her laptop and Katie closed it glumly.

“She’s got a heavy-duty firewall up, Nads. They’re not coming down any time soon.”

Nadia sat up in her seat to face Hunk, who soberly thumbed through a comic book behind her. “Well, that’s boring. What drama am I going to thrive off on?” Nadia slurped the last of her shake and bumped her hip against her shoulder. “Why aren't you sitting next to Serrano? Boy looks miserable from up here," she slurped her now-empty bottle noisily, smirking as Katie hurriedly tugged her back down.

She _did_ sneak a look when boarding the plane and knew exactly how he looked. The pout he pulled when she dipped into her seat right next to Nadia's was both adorable and sent little jolts of pain in her chest. She never wanted to hurt him.

"We don't have to be next to each other _all_ the time," she sighed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. In truth, she'd been avoiding him for a few days now, citing that she was busy with her side projects. She helped with his test prep over text and started to slowly plant the idea that she was losing interest in Keith.

Somehow that didn't shake him off.

She bit her lip, deep in thought. The longer this went on, the harder it was going to be to break things off with him.

 A distinctive, high-pitched laugh sounded behind them. Katie winced, knowing _exactly_ who it was. She heard Lance's reluctant "no" to her question of whether the seat next to his was taken. Without turning around, she could just imagine Jenny's manicured fingers on his arm and her face too-close to his disinterested expression while she whispered words in that cloying voice of hers.

"Just so you know, Shaybon's got her grimy claws all over your man," Nadia affirmed, peaking between the seats.

She clicked on her seat belt noisility and reached for the magazines stuffed into the seat pocket. "He's not my _man_."

* * *

 

"Hey Nads, got headphones?" She shook her friend's shoulder gently and smiled as her head rolled to the side.

"Sorry babe," Nadia mumbled sleepily, wiggling further down her seat and throwing her blanket over her head.

She kissed her teeth and looked about her. She really needed her headphones, but her own pair disappeared mysteriously again - usually ending up in Lance's car. She gripped her seat and slowly turned to peak over the edge. Hunk was fast asleep, snoring loudly on an annoyed Ryan's shoulder.

She looked past them to see Lance resting his chin on his hand while he looked forlornly out the window. Her fingers twitched with the need to touch him, hug him - anything to wipe away that sad look in his eyes. Her eyes drifted down to see her headphones dangled around his neck...and a blonde head rested on his shoulder, the body attached to it snuggled closer than necessary.

She heard a crunch in her hands and looked down to see the packet of peanut butter cookies - ones that _he_ had gone to the trouble of driving to the other end of town to procure just for her - completely powdered in her fingers.

* * *

 

“Seriously Katie, at _least_ give snowboarding a go.”

“No thank you,” she muttered flatly, shoving the last of the peanut butter cookies she’d packed into her mouth.

"Bet you joined just for the robotics program at Balmera, didn't ya?" Hunk quipped, stealing one of Nadia's chips and dodging her swatting hand. “Now that it’s over, what are you going to do?”  
  
She blinked, looking up from her laptop. "Do I need a reason to join this trip?" she asked incredulously.

Hunk and Nadia looked at each other. "Why else did you join?” Nadia wondered. “I don't see you as the skiing-type, no offense girl."  
  
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, warily looking out as fellow students milled about the hotel lobby. "Lance wanted me to go so I agreed."

The gleeful looks on their faces told her that they absolutely expected her answer.

"For someone who came to keep her boyfriend company, you sure are doing everything in your power to avoid him." Nadia winked, Hunk nodding sagely next to her in agreement.

"I didn't want to be one of those people that abandoned their friends over a boy, okay?" She tossed her backpack to the laughing Nadia, mumbling that she needed the washroom. She shoved her hands into her pockets, and kept her head low to avoid drawing attention to herself. Of course, her short stature meant that it was only inevitable that she would run into someone.

And sure enough, her dumb luck decided to do the most. A heavily-perfumed figure bumped roughly into her, and she cursed under her breath as her phone flew out of her hands.

"Oops! _Sorry_ ," Jenny cooed, giggling as a few people looked their way.

Katie picked up her phone from the floor and inspected it for damages, ignoring Jenny's piercing gaze on the top of her head. She shifted her feet in the opposite direction, trying to leave with a mumbled apology, but Jenny was quicker, stepping in her path. She cleared her throat and Katie lifted her head reluctantly.  
  
It was beyond her what caused the ire in the girl, she had no claim on Lance. He was most definitely not her boyfriend and this experience alone made her want to march towards him and end their ridiculous charade in plain sight of everyone. But she figured she tortured him enough for the past few days. Even when he’d offered to help her with her presentation of B-ZER yesterday - the robot prototype she’d spent her nights slaving over - she’d brushed him off without much preamble and scrambled off before he could even ask how her day was.

For his sake, before Jenny could breathe her flames, she ducked under and made a beeline back to Nadia.

* * *

 

"He took you _where_?"

Katie winced at the shriek and hurried to close the hotel door behind her. She looked over to the slack-jawed faces of her two friends and sighed heavily.

"To his home; I met his family - just his mother and sister, but still."

" _Just_ his mother and sister she says." Nadia shook her head.

"Pidge...that's a huge deal." Hunk sat himself on one of the beds, a hand not-so-sneakily reaching for the phone in his pocket to text the new bit of information to Allura and Romelle.

"Is it?" She shrugged, leaning her head back against the door, while toying with the strings of Lance’s hoodie. She'd managed to successfully dodge him during the briefing with the other chaperones and teachers but he'd been vying for her attention all day. She hated doing this to him - to _herself_ \- but she really thought that moving forward, it was good to slowly distance herself. Or as she put, ‘initiate the detachment sequence’.

"You've been dating like, what, three months? And he's already taking you home to see his mother? That boy is crazy for you."

But Nadia’s words deflected off her as she sunk herself deep into her thoughts. She was right about not involving their families; things were certain to get messy fast and boy, did she not anticipate _how_.

She already felt guilty. How would his family take it if they found out she was a fraud? That she was “in love” with someone else?  She hated to think of how upset his mother would be to know that her son wasn’t as lucky in love as she thought he was.

* * *

* * *

 

_"You told me we were just saying hi, not a lunch date with your mother!"_

_"What's the big deal? Do you have any idea how hard it is to negotiate down to just two family members?"_

_"Two?!"_

_"You've met Rachel, relax. And my mom's pretty chill. Look they've been begging me to bring you home for ages. Just show your pretty face, dazzle them with your smarts, have some delicious food and I'll take you home, okay?"_

_"Not. Okay," she hissed as he helped her out of his car. But as soon as her sandaled feet hit the floor, her frown disappeared and a weak smile took its place._

_"This is the mysterious Holt girl! I am so glad to finally meet you, Katherine." His mother descended the steps of the front porch and pulled her into a welcoming hug that was not unlike the ones Lance gave her. Every bit of her - her hug, her smile and her voice - oozed warmth and, for a short while, it felt as though her own mother was hugging her._

_"Katie's fine, Mrs Serrano. Or Pidge." She laughed nervously. Rachel hovered next to her mother and gave her a once-over that made her gulp._

_"Hey Rachel, nice to see you again." She smiled, extending a hand out in what she hoped was akin to extending an olive branch. But the girl took one look at her hand and pulled her into a hug. For a moment, Katie allowed herself to relax but felt a chill run down her spine as soon as Rachel whispered a thinly veiled threat against breaking her brother's heart._

_"I've got my eye on you, Holt," she murmured past her as they made their way into the dining room._  

* * *

 

  _"You okay, Pidge?" Lance nudged her, handing her a dish to dry. She shook herself out of her thoughts and set down the bone-dry plate._

_"Yeah, I'm fine." She leaned against the counter-top while distractedly drying the new dish. Lance finished off with the last cup and dried his hands on a towel, feeling his gaze on the top of her head as she spaced out again. He looked over his shoulder, likely to check if Rachel and his mother were still  sufficiently distracted with the telenovela playing in the living room, and stepped toward her._

_"'I'm fine' in Pidge-speak is not-fine," he murmured, his voice low in the way that made her insides squish. His hands coming to rest against the countertop, trapping her in his arms. His warm breath fanned over her neck and heat rushed to her cheeks. She quickly pulled the plate to the front of her face before his face could lean any closer to hers._

_She heard him sigh and his hands slid down the counter to rest evenly on her hips. Before she could protest, he lifted her effortlessly up onto the countertop, quietening her surprised squeak with a kiss. God, she hated how weak she was; melting easily into his arms was an addictive feeling that she was becoming way too accustomed to._

_"Now that I have you trapped, will you tell me what's wrong?" He pulled away with a smirk that looked infuriatingly coy. He pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips, nudging his cheek to the side of her face so she’d look up at him._

_“I told you Ma!” Rachel yelled._

_They jumped away from each other; Lance picked up a washed dish and washed it under a tap while she awkwardly re-arranged the plates._

_“I told you she’s the evil twin!” The voices were still coming from the living room and Lance tilted his back to see the their heads still completely engrossed on the screen._

_The both of them sighed and looked at each other. Pidge was the first to break. She giggled, shifting her eyes away from Lance’s gleeful ones, and resting her hand over her furiously beating heart._

* * *

 

_"Mom, you're gonna crush her," Lance chuckled, tugging her free from his mother's arms. His mother finally pulled away, looking her up and down with a soft, nostalgic smile and hands on her shoulders._

_"I'm happy my son met you,” she sighed happily, cupping her face gently and looking at her softly - as though she was her own daughter. “Colleen would be proud of the beautiful young lady you've become."_

_Her heart squeezed painfully and her smile faltered. Katie quickly gulped down the knot that had formed in her throat and blinked back the tears that pricked in the corners of her eyes. Clearing her throat, she said her goodbyes as brightly as she could._

_When Lance drove her home, even he was quiet. It was almost as though he could sense that something in her changed. When his fingers drifted towards her at a red light, she pulled her arm away, pretending instead to check her phone for messages. She was retreating, and the sharp intake of breath next to her told her that he knew too._

_"Need a ride to the airport tomorrow?" Lance asked cheerily - as though the evening hadn’t been ruined with her quiet panic - as he pulled into her driveway._

_"My dad wants to see me off,” she whispered, gripping the edge of her skirt tightly._

_"Oh, okay."_

_For a few moments, she sat in silence in his car. The lights in her home were still out - her father wasn't back from work yet._

_"Goodnight," she murmured, quickly opening the car door before he could even have the chance to jump out of his car seat._

_She could have smiled, asked for one of his hugs that she craved or even given him a soft kiss to the cheek in thanks; but she did none of that. She quietly closed the passenger door and headed to her front door._

* * *

* * *

 

“You sure you don’t want to give it _one_ go?”

“Hard pass,” Katie mumbled, watching as the beginner skiers tumbled ungracefully into the snow and people watching at the sides laughed. She turned to watch her friend stand after tying on her snowboots firmly, “I don’t mind just watching you.”

“Okay then.” Nadia sighed, lugging her snowboard over her shoulder as she trudged towards the ski lift.

“Enjoying the trip, Pidge?”

Katie closed her eyes, praying to whatever omnipresent being above that controlled the greater chaos of the universe before forcing a polite reply. Why couldn’t she just _leave her the fuck alone_?

“Very much so, thanks for asking, Jenny.”

She made her way to the side, away from the base of the slope but the girl’s long fingers grabbed her arm and tugged her closer.

“I know that you and Lance aren’t really dating,” she hissed, icy blue eyes flashing. With their surroundings, and the blinding white parka she wore, she truly looked like an evil ice queen.

Katie couldn’t help the gasp that escape her lips.

Jenny’s eyes narrowed at that, and an ugly smirk of satisfaction marred her pretty face. “I _knew_ it; there’s no way Lance would date someone like you.”

That was just it. She was done. Screw what Lance thought. If this insufferable wench was going to stalk her for the rest of her senior year, then maybe, just _maybe_ heartbreak would be worth it.

“Look Jenny, I don’t care -”

“ _Watch out!_ ”

A body collided into hers, pushing her down onto the snow. Wind knocked out of her lungs as she gasped, grasping at her sides to sit up. She heard shouts around her and turned her head to see a snowboarder tearing down the slope. Jenny stood stock-still, watching with her mouth parted as the man hurtled towards her. He managed to shift the board in time to dodge her, but nudged past Jenny’s shoulder. The blonde shrieked and tumbled into a pile of snow in an unglamorous heap.

“ _Katie_!” Nadia had already pushed away her snowboard and was jogging down the slopes towards her.

“You have a death wish, Holt?” Keith pulled himself up, towering over her with a glare. She didn’t flinch, staring back with the same intensity that threw the boy off. “Serrano won’t shut up if something happened to you,” he grumbled, extending a hand out to her.

“My hero,” she muttered dryly, letting Keith pull her up to her feet. Her legs were like jelly and before she could collapse in a heap back onto the snow, Keith kept her up with a firm arm around her while she dusted the snow off her legs. It really was strange. Keith saved her twice now and she felt nothing for him but reluctant gratitude.

Nadia reached her side and hugged her tightly, ignoring Keith’s annoyed grumble. “God I saw that crazy guy zip down towards you and -”

“Move, _move_!” The small crowd that had begun to form around the three of them parted to give way to the young man.

Wide blue eyes narrowed to see Keith’s arm around her, but concern returned quickly to his features as he stepped towards her. “Pidge, are you o-”

“ _Lance, I’m hurt._ ” Jenny laid pathetically on the snow, holding onto her knee. Katie could have sworn that Jenny fell on her behind and couldn’t have injured her knee.

“ _You have to carry me now,”_ she whined, lifting her arms towards him. Lance sighed and turned to her - giving her a once over to check that she wasn’t injured - before heading towards the blonde.

As much as she knew that he had a job to do on this trip, it didn't stop the bitter twist in her chest as he hoisted the smug, leggy girl into his arms.

* * *

 

“Not spending time with Lance, Pidge?” Hunk handed her a hot chocolate before pulling on his coat. He was getting ready to spend a last evening with Shay and Katie was glad that at least one of her friends was in an actual, committed relationship. 

She took a careful sip of the cocoa, sighing softly as the warmth bloomed down her body. “He’s busy with Jenny.” The thinly-veiled malice in her voice surprised her, but she couldn’t help it. Lance didn’t _have_ to spend an entire day tending to her needs. The other chaperones were there for a reason.

“Aren’t you being a little harsh on him? I mean, I’m sure him making you go on this trip is so you won’t pass on a chance to meet other robotics enthusiasts.”

She sat heavily on her bed, watching Nadia pack. “You’re probably right,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She was getting far too cranky over an issue that she had no right getting incensed by.

“Hey, you got space in your luggage? I don’t have room.”

She nodded and pointed to her dark green suitcase, pulling her knees to herself as she considered Hunk’s words. She _had_ been childish and quite frankly, cowardly - that was not a word she wanted to be associated with. At all.

“Uhh Kat? I think this is for you.” Nadia handed her an unfolded green Post-It.

She gulped, immediately recognizing it. She crumpled it in her hands before Hunk could look over her shoulder and sat up.

“Um, I have to go somewhere for a bit. Don’t wait up for me.” She didn’t wait for their reply and slipped out of the room. Checking over her shoulder to make sure she was alone, she smoothed out the wrinkles, her cheeks flushing pink as she did with every note. Written hastily in the lazy script that was so distinctively his and an admittedly adorable scribble of a sad face was another one of his ‘love notes’.

_I miss you, mi reina._

 

* * *

 

Lance glumly sat in the bubbling waters of the hot tub. The trip wasn’t going as he had hoped it would. He did get to see Pidge in her element, dazzling the staff and students at Balmera with her tech prowess, but everything else went from bad to worse.

He wondered if it had been a bad idea to bring her to see his mother so soon. But his family had been bugging him for _weeks_ and Rachel wasn’t swaying from her stance that Katie never really liked him. He finally caved in. He was a huge momma’s boy, and he’d wanted to prove Rachel wrong. But beyond that, he genuinely wanted to introduce the girl that occupied his thoughts more and more as the days went by.

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back, his elbows propped to his sides.

He wanted things to be real and he’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t terrify him. He was still hurting a little thanks to Jenny - her recent attentions towards him reminded him just how much of a mistake he’d made in dating her - and he’d deliberated many nights if Rachel had been right. Was Pidge just a rebound? She deserved way more than that. He needed more time to think.

A voice cut through his contemplative silence.

“Thanks for making me go on this trip...Would have missed out on a pretty awesome robotics program.”

Lance lifted his head in surprise, immediately recognizing the small figure and its voice by the door. He nodded slowly, his eyes watching her as she carefully stepped into the dimly-lit room. They were the only ones there; it was late and the boys that were with him had left as soon as a prospect of hanging out with Balmeran girls arose.

As she stepped into the room and the dim blue light, he could see her fiddling with the edge of the enormous shirt she wore - it fell to her mid-thigh and absolutely engulfed her small frame. When she sat against the edge of the tub, heat rushed to his cheeks and he felt himself gulp, shoving away any and all untoward thoughts. Lord have mercy on his soul; seeing Pidge in his clothes was his absolute kryptonite. It was why he’d never asked for his jacket - or pretty much, any of the clothes she'd managed to steal - back. It pleased him far too much to see how it swallowed her petite form and in almost hilariously primitive level told others who she belonged to.

Feeling a rush of courage from the invigorating sight before him, he dared to speak. "Mind telling me why you've been avoiding me again?"

" _Again_?" She frowned at him, her head turning sharply.

Lance didn’t relent. "You always pull this shit, Pidge. Whenever you're pissed or just...I-don't-even-know with me, you do everything you can to avoid me."

He watched her lips pull to a defiant pout - pushing away the memory of all those times he felt those on his - and instead lifted his gaze from her lips to her eyes that now looked crestfallen. He wasn't going to back down this time and least of all, Pidge wasn't going to distract him with the fact that she was wearing one of his shirts.

"I'm just waiting for things to go horribly wrong."

The soft bubbling of the jet streams filled the following silence. Wordlessly, he lifted an arm out to her. She watched her worry her bottom lip before leaning down to slip off her shoes. He watched every movement as she swung her legs over the edge and slowly lowered her body into the water. Though she still looked guarded as she always did, there was a certain look in her eyes that made her tread towards him akin to a lioness; and he, her prey. He stood rooted to the spot, his breath hitching as her hands rested on his shoulders.

His hands eventually moved underwater, circling around her waist and pulling her closer to him. Unprompted, she rested her cheek against his bare chest and his heart rate skyrocketed.

“What makes you think something is going to go wrong?” He leaned his cheek on the top of her head, hoping she couldn’t hear or feel his palpitations. He could tell that something bothered her, but it frustrated him that she couldn’t articulate it to him or even tried to.

She shrugged and chose to say nothing more. And for a while, he allowed it, letting the warm water leach out the last of the cold in his bones and ease the tension in his sore muscles.

And then she moved - hands coming up again to lock behind his neck and her legs moving underwater to straddle him. His eyes widened at her boldness but he didn’t stop her. Not when her lips brushed over the pulse of his neck in a way that made him shiver.

“I missed you too...” Her soft brown eyes looked straight into his, completely disarming him. “ _Mi rey_ ,” she breathed, sealing her lips over his.

This time, his response wasn’t at all stalled. His fingers trailed up from her waist to her hair, cradling her head as she kissed him. He returned the kiss, nipping her bottom lip and reining himself in before he could scare her away.

Hearing her speak Spanish ignited something in him that he’d never felt before, but he reluctantly pulled his face away. He pressed his lips over her brow as her eyes fluttered open in confused concern.

As much as he desired to _ravish_ her with kisses, now wasn’t a good time, not when there was something that was clearly bothering her and especially not when he was supposed to be her chaperone on the trip preventing incidents like these.

“ _Mi rey?_ ” He lifted a brow in amusement, watching her nose scrunch up in annoyance. He locked his arms firmly around her waist again, keeping her in place against his chest when she’d attempted to move away. “I like it.” He laughed, nuzzling her damp cheek. “More than I like to admit.”

She finally stilled in his arms and looked up at him warily. “Do you really?”

He nodded and shifted his hands to cradle her face. “We’ll talk about this once the trip’s over, okay?” he whispered, thumbs caressing her cheek. She still looked confused, but seeing the puppy-like wounded expression in her eyes was enough for him to relent and indulge her with a few innocent pecks to her lips. There was so much he wanted - _needed -_ to tell her, but a steamy room with mood lighting while she looked as good as she did wasn’t it.

* * *

 

“This is me,” she murmured, stopping before her room door. The lights still streamed through the bottom and it appeared that Nadia and Hunk were still awake. She turned to see Lance’s eyes on her - glinting in the muted, orange lights of the hallway. Katie tugged his bathrobe tighter around her and bit her lip, which only served to darken his eyes.

He blinked, took in a deep breath as though to steady himself, and that hunger in his gaze was gone. He leaned forward, brushing her forehead with a sweet kiss.

“Good night,” he muttered, a lazy smile easily tugging on his lips. Her heart fluttered and for the first time for the week of their trip, she gave him a smile.

It wasn’t till she closed the door behind her that she heard his footsteps walk away.

* * *

 

Katie yawned tiredly as she stepped out of the school bus. She stretched her limbs, sighing as the ache in her neck throbbed insistently - sleeping upright was never fun. She couldn’t wait to return home and crash on her bed and its mountainous pile of soft plush toys.

Nadia bounded towards the baggage pick-up while she waited patiently to the side, fiddling with her phone.

“There you are, Holt.”

She groaned mentally. Katie briefly considered if she could still her doctorate while imprisoned for life for murder.

She lifted her head, and sure enough, a very smug-looking Jenny towered over her. The blonde nibbled on a granola bar, casting a look over her shoulder. Katie would have followed her gaze if it weren’t for the object dangling around her neck that caught her immediate attention. Her fingers tightened around her phone.

“Where’d you get that, Jenny?” she asked, her voice carefully soft.

Jenny turned to her, looking all wide-eyed and innocent. “Hm? Lance lent them to me.”

She wanted to snatch it off her neck, but chose to keep her hands firmly pinned to her sides. No, Jenny was baiting her and she wasn’t going to bite.

“Also, I’m not done speaking to you. Before I got _rudely_ interrupted on the slopes, I've been meaning to tell you something very important. Actually, I’m doing you a huge favor in telling you this.”

Instinct told her that she should just tell her to fuck off or do the ‘bigger person’ thing her brother always preached about and walk away, but the small bit of paranoia that existed in her head made her raise an eyebrow at the girl, beckoning her to continue.

“Lance, he’s not with you for _you_ ,” she started, twirling her finger around the cords of her headphones. “He’s with you to cosy up to your father. Your dad used to work for the Garrison, didn’t he? Bet he can pull some strings for his daughter’s boyfriend.”

She flinched at the implication but held her ground. Lance was not nearly as diabolical as Jenny was. But the doubt had taken root. Then again, he _was_ particularly chummy with her dad and never turned down an opportunity to speak with him when most boys would balk at the thought of meeting a girl's father.

“Jenny, you're full of sh-”

“I mean, think about it. Asking you for help with the test? That was the _only_ reason he ever came to you in the first place, didn't he? A school full of geniuses and he went to the only girl with family ties in the Garrison?”

“But Veronica-”

“-is nothing but an analyst. She has no real influence over the head honchos. But your dad...he was a commander at some point, wasn't he?”

Jenny took another nibble of her bar and leaned down to her eye level.

“Look, I know I’m a bitch, but I’m no liar. Use that humongous Holt brain of yours and connect the dots,” she shrugged, giving her a prim smile that unnerved her.

Katie folded her arms and jutted out her chin, but she wasn’t as confident as before. Her mind raced and a voice told her to walk away, and so she did.

“Just giving you a heads up, girlfriend!” she quipped, walking backwards before turning on a heel and heading straight for Lance.

Katie watched over her shoulder as he helped unload the luggage from the buses. His head lifted to Jenny's call. Her breath hitched as his blue eyes looked past the blonde and straight at her.

“Here ya go. Need a ride back?”

Nadia returned to her side setting down both their suitcases. She shakily reached for hers and gripped the handle tightly. Without looking back, she grabbed her confused friend's arm and headed straight for the car park; completely ignoring his smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this took a while to update. Between Theory of Relativity and Mortal Danger, this was pushed back quite a bit. Do tell me your thoughts about this chapter! ♥


	7. The First Fall

_“Why’d you bring me to the beach? It’s almost winter.”_

_“Because it’s a nice day and I love sunsets.”_

_Katie blinked at his answer and attempted to relax back against her seat. It was a little hard, considering vintage cars didn’t have seat warmers and the cold of the leather easily seeped into the thin material of the light sweater she wore. When Lance had told her to bundle up the day before, she hadn’t at all expected him to take her to the beach of all places._

_They sat in his car, heaps of junk food strewn between them and their laps. She dared a peek to her left to see Lance completely absorbed with the changing hues of the sky - slowly blending from yellows and oranges to dark pink and red streaks as the sun slowly dipped into the horizon._

_There were only a few people about - understandable with the stiff winds outside and, well, the addictive warmth of the indoors._

_“Is this some sort of dating tactic?”_ _He raised an eyebrow at her, taking a sip of his soda. But his eyes remained fixed on the sea before them._ _“Bringing a girl somewhere unexpected, set up a romantic atmosphere_ but _make sure she’s cold so she has an excuse to snuggle close to you?”_

_Lance snorted and finally turned to her. At that point, she was sitting on her hands in a weak attempt to keep them warm. He rolled his eyes, “I told you to bundle up, didn’t I?” He reached between them to adjust the heater up and shifted forward in his seat to pull off his jacket. Ignoring her protests, he draped it across her shoulders. The lingering warmth of his body clung to the jacket, and then to her and the chill on her skin disappeared in what felt like an instant._

_“It was a miscalculation, okay? I thought you were just going to make me go to one of your friend’s parties to show off to Keith,” she grumbled, frustrated with herself and her inability to be not-flustered around him for just one day._

_“You make it sound like I’m not doing this for you, Pidgey.” A thought came to him and his wide eyes looked at her with exaggerated shock. “Oh! Are you falling for me instead?” He laughed at his own joke while she paled, sinking lower onto her seat._

_“Oh, get over yourself. I’m actually glad you didn’t bring me to a party.” She’d wanted to add how she also felt stifled in his friend groups as Jenny was always present. Along with her little posse, they reminded her far too much of the bullies in her elementary school. But she didn’t have to say it out loud as Lance had already read her mind._

_“I figured you were tired of Jen’s glowering,” he smiled apologetically her way. “I’d be lying if I said I don’t get a little kick out of seeing her jealous. But you were clearly getting annoyed so I figured it’d be good to go someplace nice. Just...the two of us.” He let his last few words linger and Katie wanted to read more into them, but she squashed the miniscule ember of hope before it could ignite._

_“Well, that’s a relief,” she mumbled, pulling the lapels of his jacket closer around her form. Lance offered her his soda her way._

_“I like that about you, y’know? You’re not scared of Jenny.”_

_“Oh trust me, I’m terrified of her,” she replied dryly, taking a tentative sip. Lance chuckled and leaned to her side, casually letting his arm rest over the back of her seat._

_“I mean, you don’t let her steamroll over you.”_

_“Why were you with her anyway?” Lance flushed at her sudden question and darted his gaze back towards the ocean. He was quiet for a bit before shrugging._

_“What can I say? I’ve got a weakness for pretty girls.” She rolled her eyes at that and he laughed heartily. “Including you, hermosa.”_

_She waved her hand dismissively at his flirty quip and reached for another peanut butter cookie. It was a new brand that Lance had found in the Asian grocer’s across town and she hated to admit how good it was. Also, how touched she was that he’d gone to the effort for getting them for her. She felt his gaze on the top of her head._

_“Hey Pidge? Can I ask you something personal?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Why haven’t you dated before?”_

_She paused at that and slowly turned to look at him. “I mean...I have dated before. Actually,” she frowned for a bit, leaning back into her seat with a sigh. “I’m not sure if that counts.”_

_“Who?” Lance asked carefully. His body was turned towards her now and his eyes trained fully on her. She flushed and looked away._

_“Again, he’s not someone you’d know. James. I met him at the Garrison internship. It was just one of those short-lived summer romances.” She left out the part where James promised to ask her out if he made it to the Garrison as a pilot._

_“Oh,_ that _guy…” Lance sighed and popped another garlic knot into his mouth. He reached into his glove compartment, rummaging around until he found a box of tissues. A photo fell out of it and Katie bent down to pick it up._

_“Oh…” she whispered, blanching as she looked down at a picture of a familiar, smiling man. He looked to be only a few years older than Lance in the photo; leaning casually back against the very car they were seated in. Lance looked over at her and smiled fondly down at the picture in her hands._

_“You’ve met my dad.”_

_“Yeah, a long time ago,” she sighed, rubbing her thumb over the picture’s glossy edge. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to his wake. I was away and I didn’t-”_

_“Don’t even worry about it, Pidge,” a hand came to rest over hers and she turned to meet his gaze. “But thanks, I appreciate it.”_

_The sad smile he gave her made her want to press on. “He...he was a good man. He comforted me when I got bullied back in middle school.”_

_“Oh, right. I remember. It was also the first time I met you.”_

_“You remember that?” she lifted her head in surprise. Lance blinked for a bit and cleared his throat, sitting up straighter in his seat._

_“Of course.”_

_A comfortable silence fell between them and Katie felt an inexplicable need to fill it in. “You must really miss him.”_

_Lance nodded slowly, looking back down to the picture as she handed it to him. “We had time to say goodbye,” he sighed, carefully placing the picture back into its place. “You must miss your Mom too,” he murmured, closing the glove box carefully. Her eyes watched his fingers as he reached for hers, twining gently with her smaller fingers._

_“Y-yeah,” she stammered, watching his thumb stroke over her knuckles and a lump forming in her throat. She cleared it away. “You look like you’re really close to your family; you take good care of them,” eager to change the subject before she could tear up in front of him. Lance gave her a lazy smile in gratitude and her heart melted. Luckily, he’d turned his gaze back to the horizon before he could see the tips of her ears turn pink._

_“Luis’ in college out-of-state and you know Ronnie’s at the Garrison. Rachel’s an over-achiever; she really wants to get a full ride to college and I don’t want her to be dogged down with chores or a job. Marco and his wife work long hours, so I help take care of their kids time to time. Abuela usually does but she’s not as active as she used to be. Handling a bunch of kids can get tiring, y’know?” He paused for a moment, squeezing her hand gently._ _“Mom’s busy with her job too so I just do whatever needs to be done in the house.”_

_“Then who’s watching over you?”_

_The question made him look blankly at her. “Who needs to watch me? I’m fine.”_

_“I mean...I’m sure you are. But you’re busy looking out for everybody else. You’re the baby of the family like I am, who’s looking after you?”_

_“I’m a_ man _now, Pidge,” he winked, putting on a mock-serious tone. She rolled her eyes and pushed at his shoulder. But she didn’t miss the sadness in his eyes._ _“I...I guess it was Jenny. At one point, at least. She wasn’t always like...like_ that _.”_

_“What made her change then?”_

_Lance just shrugged. “She saw a better opportunity - a better boyfriend who can offer her more - and decided to chance it. I don’t blame her honestly.”_

_“Lance-”_ _  
_

_“No, Pidge, I mean it. When dad’s health worsened, I had less time for her.”_

_“Well, yeah. You were looking after your family!” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Did Lance blame himself?_

_He shook his head, “I know, but...she’s been there for me the first time dad was hospitalised. When he fell sick again, I guess... she didn’t want to go through that again.”_

_“Are you sure something else didn’t happen at the same time?” She raised her brow, not believing that he was telling her the full story._

_“She didn’t cheat on me if that’s what you’re implying,” he replied testily and Katie questioned the ache in her heart. He pulled away from her to run a hand through his hair and Katie missed the slight warmth the proximity of his body had offered. But at least her suspicions were true - he was hiding something else and she didn’t know how she felt about Lance protecting Jenny even till then._

_“That’s not what I meant, actually,” she began, determined to find out. “I meant if you-”_

_“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Pidge. Please.” Even if his tone had been firm, he kept it gentle and his eyes were more pleading than annoyed with her. Her lips sealed and she shrunk into herself, hoping she hadn’t destroyed the thin tether of trust between them._

_His phone vibrated with a text then and he frowned as he read it. “Looks like Rachel can’t pick up Sylvio from soccer, we might have to end this early,” he looked apologetic and Katie didn’t know why he felt the need to._

_“I can help out,” she offered meekly. Lance gaped at her and she rolled her eyes, pushing his face away from her playfully. “I mean, I’m not good with kids or anything. But you’ve got a lot on your plate now, I wouldn’t mind babysitting for you once in a while.” He was still gaping at her and she couldn’t help but notice how touched he looked. “At least until you’re done with the test,” she added quickly, her heart fluttering as his eyes softened her way._

_“They may be shorter than you, Pidge, but they’re still way more than you can handle,” he laughed, finally recovered from his apparent shock as he dodged another one of her swats. He grabbed her wrist easily and tugged her closer to him for an awkward, but affectionate side hug. “But I wouldn’t mind it if my girlfriend kept me company.”_

_Katie groaned and pushed him aside as he laughed. “Drive, please.”_

_“Alright, mi reina. Right after you answer one more question.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_“What are your favorite flowers?”_

* * *

 

“Kat, not to sound like a nag or anything, but I’m worried about you,” Nadia sighed as she pulled into their lane. “I saw Jenny talk to you, was she being a pain again?”

Katie shrugged, not wanting to worry Nadia with the details. “I’m fine.”

“You’re _not_ fine. Stop saying things you don’t mean. You look like you’ve seen death. What did that witch say to you? Don’t believe a word from her.”

 _Even if what she said, made sense?_ She wanted to ask. But she just shrugged again, opening the passenger door to leave. Katie didn’t want to think about Lance, Jenny or quite frankly, anything else. All she wanted to do, was to crawl under the covers and fall into a deep, deep sleep and wake up forgetting anything happened at all. Forget fake-dating Lance, forget kissing him, his hugs and forget that she ever remotely liked him at all.

Nadia jumped out of her own seat, helping her pull out her suitcase from the trunk of her car. “Text me, okay?” The worried tone in her friend’s voice made her manage a weak smile and a wave for Nadia, thanking her for the ride.

As the suitcase wheels clicked against the stone tiles of her pavement, she looked about the front of her home. Her dad had said he would be home by the time she was back, but the house looked empty - even Bae Bae was missing.

Her eyes went to the ginormous green and gold wreath that hung on her front door. Katie didn’t remember decorating the house before leaving and her father hadn’t ever been the type to bring out the decorations on his own - not since her mother’s passing.

She unlocked the door slowly and peered in.The first thing she’s hit by, was the cloying scent of sugar and spices. Someone was baking - it certainly can’t be her father if it smelt unburnt. She pushed the door open further, her eyes narrowing as she looked about her.  A figure swooped from behind the door to pull her into a tight hold and she shrieked.

“Pidge! It’s just me!”

She stopped screaming and paused her arm swinging back for a punch in the nick of time to look up to see amused honey eyes - very much like her own.

“ _Matt_!” she threw herself to her brother’s arms, knocking out of his lungs.

“-Oof! I missed you too, Pidge,” he chuckled, struggling against her tight, constricting hug. Her eyes misted over and she buried her nose further into her brother’s sweater, not letting him see her pained and plain _relieved_ expression. “Doing okay, baby sis?” he murmured gently, immediately sensing her unease. She felt his fingers ruffle the top of her hair and he tightened his arms around her once more.

“Mm,” she hummed, not daring to speak in case her voice cracked. They needn’t talk more, Matt knew she forgave him and she knew he could never hold a grudge against her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

She shook her head and just tightened her hold, determined not to let him go again. He chuckled weakly and attempted at prying her arms.

“Where's dad?”

“He took Bae Bae out for a walk. I told him to get some stuff from the shops too so he’ll be out for a while.”

“Oh, okay.” She deflated a little in her brother’s arms. She’d been hoping he would quell the doubts in her mind.

“I took the liberty of decorating the house while you were away,” he began, trying to lighten her mood. “It’s the last holiday we’ll spend in this house, so I figured we should go all out.” Trying and failing.

Once she was sure each welled teardrop was unspilled, she reluctantly peeled away from him to look around the room. He stretched out an arm to gesture around the house and Katie eyes found the imposingly large Christmas tree in the living area. A real pine tree - as their mother always used to insist on despite her father’s warnings of it being a fire hazard - heavily decorated in gold and white ornaments. The stairwell too, was twined with more of the gold and green wreaths and four stockings hung over the fireplace. Her eyes were drawn immediately to the one embroidered “Mom” and emotion gripped at her throat again.

She felt her brother look expectantly her and she managed to squeak her reply. “It looks great.” With a heavier sigh, “Mom would’ve loved this.”

* * *

 

**_L: Can we talk, please?_ **

 

**_P: We are talking aren’t we?_ **

 

**_L: In person, Pidge._ **

 

**_P: Sure. I’m home._ **

 

**_L: I’ll be there in ten._ **

 

She glumly pulled out the box she’d prepared. In it, were his clothes; laundered and carefully pressed. Her fingers stroked the soft material of his jacket as she thought back to the day he’d first given it to her. Even when he’d come over many times since and seen his jacket carelessly tossed to the foot of her bed, he never asked for it back. It was something that always puzzled her.

It _was_ an old jacket. The seams were fraying and the brown color was fading. He probably didn’t miss it. Just as she unfolded the jacket to wear one last time, the doorbell rang. She cursed and flung the jacket back into the box, yelling “I’ll answer it!” over her shoulder. She tucked it under arm and rushed down the stairs. But Matt beat her to the door.

“Oh. Lance, welcome.” her eyebrows rose. Her brother knew him?

“Oh hey, Matt. I didn’t know you were back!” Lance stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Her brother raised a brow. “What would you have done if I wasn’t here?”

“ _Matt._ ”

Katie pushed her brother aside and tugged Lance out to the patio by the side of the house. She looked back over her shoulder and seeing her brother peek from around the corner, she crossed her arms in annoyance. Matt sighed eventually, and closed the door behind him.

“What’s this?” Lance indicated to the box in her arms. She dropped it unceremoniously on his lap.

“Your stuff,” she replied primly. He’d come way earlier than she had expected and it didn’t give her time to prepare for their talk.

Lance looked confused as he dug around the box but placed it on the floor next to him. “I won’t miss them, you didn’t have to return-”

“I think we need to stop this.” She’d sounded way more stoic than she intended to, but it had to be done. The more he hated her, the better.

But Lance didn’t look all too concerned. “I think so too,” he tucked his hands into his pockets and looked cooly at her.

“I want us to be for real.”

“I’m tired of this.”

Katie gasped and Lance stepped back as if he’d been struck. Even if they’d spoken at the same time, they’d heard the other clear as day.

“No, you don’t,” she was the first to recover. Her heart raced in her chest but her mind was a muddled mix between anger, confusion and frustration.

“It stopped being fake to me the day you kissed me,” he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I couldn’t tell if you felt the same way and I didn’t want to scare you-”

“Lance...are you only with me for the Garrison admission?”

“...What?”

“Are you with me, so you could get into the Garrison?” she repeated herself, her voice level and calm. She did not want to elaborate further. Katie watched his expression closely, waiting for any signs of him breaking or tells. He only blinked.

“I mean, I used the tutoring as an excuse to get closer to you but-”

She stood up abruptly, forgetting calm and cool, and nearly knocked over her chair in the process. “Why me? Why not anyone else?”

“Pidge, what’s wrong?” he frowned, slowly standing up as well. “What did I do?”

“Were you taking advantage of me?”

“Why the hell would you even _think_ that?”

“Because you have my letters,” she didn’t even realize she was tearing up until a wet streak ran down her cheek. She watched Lance pale and the furrow between his brows quickly disappearing as he reached out to her.

“Quiznack, _Katie_. Don’t cry, please.”

She jerked away from his hand, “I don’t know if you have the rest but I’m sure you know how pathetically in love I’ve been with you for so long.” She angrily brushed away the moisture from her cheeks. “All you had to do was charm me, get close to me and my dad and get your way into the Garrison. Well newsflash, nepotism doesn’t work there.”

“Pidge...I don’t know what happened for you to be like this but-”

“We never really were suited for each other anyway,” she interjected, knowing that at that point, she was inventing reasons. “It’s better if we just nip it at the bud before other people get dragged into this.” Her brother would sniff them out in a second and the last thing she needed was to betray his trust too.

Lance sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. He was losing his patience now, she could tell. “What even gave you the idea?! Did someone tell you-” he paused the confused look on his face quickly melting away. “Oh, I see what happened.” He straightened his back and for once, Katie felt very small and intimidated in his presence.  “Jen got to you, didn’t she?”

Guilt hit her, but she wasn’t about to waver. _"_ It's not just about her, Lance! It's about your whole family! Your mother especially _._ She thinks you're in _love_ with me!" her voice had gone off pitch at the end and she forced herself to quieten and breathe.

"And what's wrong with that?" his voice had dropped - maybe the first time that night he was oddly quiet.  "What's wrong with me being in love with you?"

She flushed, "It's a lie. Your mother doesn't deserve to get entangled in our...childish mess."

"Well, what if it isn't a lie?"

She stared at him, her lips parted with a ready retort, but no noise left her mouth. Taking a gulp, she tore her gaze away from him to stare at the floor. "That's a cruel joke to pull, Lance."

There was an undertone of anxiety in his voice – he wasn’t so sure himself anymore. “The letters, I knew you wrote them to me for real. Both of them were meant for me, weren’t they?” She shook her head furiously, not wanting to confront the truth.  “You love me,” he insisted. 

“What if I don’t? What if I just put you on a pedestal?” her own voice was kept level, but she was seconds away from quivering.

“Why the heck would you do that? You’re better than me in every possible way Pidge. You’re smart, y-“

“That’s not true and you know it. We _both_ made it to the same magnet school, _both_ of us are headed to the Garrison. We’re _both_ smart. But _you_. You have a life outside of school. You’re good at sports. You’re great with people. I’m none of those things.”

“You are now?” He looked genuinely confused with her outburst and Katie didn’t blame him.  “You’ve been more social, I’ve managed to get you to _try_ swimming and I think you’re great with people, Pidge.”

“It’s all an act,” she admitted with defeat. “Even this relationship, we have it on _paper_. It’s all fake.”

He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes as he released his breath as though to calm himself down. “You know what I think this is? You’re afraid. You’re afraid of getting hurt,” her racing mind quietened - he was right. “And I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be. Don’t push me away.”

Katie wanted to believe him and _knew_ that she should, but something was holding her back. It was the ever-present fear in her heart; one that whispered in mocking tones that Lance would tire of her and leave her eventually.

His hands were on her shoulders now and he looked at her right in the eye. “But tell me one thing. Did you believe Jenny?” Katie’s lips parted to protest, but she resigned herself to shrug and it weighed heavily on her conscience. She knew she'd hit the final nail on the coffin.

Sure enough, Lance’s eyes flashed darkly and he grabbed the box of his clothes. As he stormed down the steps of the porch, he paused at the bottom and turned to face her. His voice was low and soft. “If you’d rather believe _her_ over me, then I guess I have no business being here.”

* * *

 

“Katie? Sweetheart, let me in please?”

“C’mon dad, she just needs some time on her own.”

“She hasn’t eaten all day!”

“I’ll make her eat dinner, don’t worry.”

“Honey? I left some peanut butter cookies by the door. Eat something, okay?”

She finally heard their footsteps walking away from her door and Katie sighed in relief. Bae Bae whinied up at her from her side and she scratched behind his ear. “I’m okay, boy. Just not very hungry.” Memories of last night was clear in her head and so was the exchange with her father when he finally returned.

_“Has Lance ever come to you…about the Garrison?” she asked breathlessly, frowning up at her father who looked frazzled._

_“Not that... I can recall, why?”_

_“Are you absolutely sure?”_

_Her father blinked at her tone but his eyes looked down as he tried to recall. He slowly shook his head, “No…I’m certain he hasn’t. He talks a lot about you, though.” Seeing her distressed face, he frowned.  “Is Lance the reason why you’re upset sweetheart? What did he to do to you?”_

_“Dad relax, I think I know what really happened,” Matt sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly._

“Pidge? Let me in or I’ll use the master key. I just want to drop off dinner.”

She groaned softly to herself and buried her tired eyes in her hands. Matt had returned and she’d heard the jingle of keys - he was never one to make empty threats. She quickly threw the piles of tissues into her bin and ran her hands through her hair to tame it. She hadn’t bathed since the day before when she’d spent a good part of her night crying into her stuffed animals. When she did wake up, it was to her phone vibrating incessantly with texts. Somehow, word had gotten out that she and Lance had broken up.

Would it be a break-up if they were never a thing to begin with? She considered darkly, flinging one of her innocent plushes at the door.

“I’m coming in in T-minus five-”

She jumped out of bed and blinked gloomily up at her brother. He’d looked annoyed with her initially, but once his eyes took in her disheveled state, his expression softened. He walked in and set down the tray - a plate of baked ziti, a mug of hot cocoa and a fresh batch of peanut butter cookies straight from the oven.

He sat at the foot of her bed, and patted the side. Bae Bae curled up by his side, yawning and falling asleep as he petted it. 

“You said you just wanted to drop off dinner,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. She didn’t need a pep talk right now. She wanted to go back to feeling sorry for herself and forgetting the past few months.

“Don’t push me away, Pidge.”

The familiar words made her snap out of reverie and look up to her brother with wide eyes. With a reluctant sigh, she dragged her feet and plopped down next to him. He quietly mulled before speaking.

“Y’know, when mom died, I didn’t cope well. Shiro and I had just broken up not too long ago at the time and it felt like I was all alone. Like I can’t love anymore because two people have disappeared from my life,” he began, scratching his head.

He sighed and stretched his long legs out. “But then you, you were only ten years old at the time. You came into my room and gave me a plate of undercooked peanut butter cookies that you’d tried to make all on your own because I hadn’t been eating. I forgot I was supposed to be taking care of you, my baby sister. You lost a mom too but you were thinking of taking care of me. I forgot I had people who still loved me.”

She fiddled with the edge of her shirt, quietly wishing she’d hoarded at least one of Lance’s.

“Katie, it’s okay if you had your heart broken. I just want you to know that dad and I will always be on standby to catch you and help you heal. You’ll always have people who love you. Don’t ever let some loser think that they can break you. If Lance wasn’t it, then that’s okay. Let him walk out. You still have us.”

“How did you even know we were...a thing?”

“Dad told me,” he supplied. “And back at the Garrison, Veronica told me her little brother was head over heels for you.”

Guilt ate at her heart again and this time it was painful. “Matt…” she sighed, wiping her eyes. “Lance _was_ it. He was...perfect. I ruined it for us.”

“It can’t be _that_ bad, Katie,” he said gently. “When you’re this young, everything feels like the end of the world. Whatever it is you guys fought over, I’m sure he’ll get over in a few days.”

She shook her head. “No, he won’t forgive me. I hurt him pretty bad.”

“Did you apologize?”

“No, there's no way I'm facing him again.”

“Okay, who the hell are you and what have you done with my sister?” She glanced up at him tiredly. “Pidge, you’re letting one little set back destroy a good relationship?”

“It wasn’t a relationship,” she admitted finally. Feeling her shoulders lighten with the secret revealed. Matt was quiet for a long while before he continued. “I know, I overheard yesterday.” Luckily for him, Katie didn’t have the energy to be mad at his eavesdropping. Her shoulders slumped and she buried her face in her hands. “Then you know how I screwed up.”

“Yeah, but telling a boy in love with you that you don’t believe him?  _Katie_ , he literally told you he wanted things to be real!”

She bowed her head. “I don’t know. All I know is that Lance probably doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“ _Probably,_  isn’t certainly. You didn’t even try. I’d bet good money he’s waiting by the phone for your call.” But his eyes softened and he squeezed her to his side. “It’s your first serious relationship, Katie.” Matt sighed. “Of course, you’d feel overwhelmed.”

He was trying to reassure her, and it hurt her to deceive him like this, but she could not bring himself to tell him of her little charade.

“Y’know why I sent out those letters?”

“To humiliate me?” Her eyes were downturned, but her voice was sardonic. Her fingers ran along the edge of the glass.

“Pidge, you know that I will never do that to you. I might tease you, but I will never _humiliate_ you.”

“I know, it’s weird. You’re my _brother_. You should live for that kind of stuff.”

Matt chucked and nudged her side as though to emphasize his point. “It’s because the only times I’ve seen you be remotely honest with your feelings, are in those letters. There are people around you – one guy in particular – who’s so ready to give you all the love you deserve, have you asked yourself why you’re pushing him away?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, taking a hard gulp. “I _heard_ some things - when I really shouldn’t have ever believed them in the first place - but I already had some fears about it. And I...I was also just waiting for him to... _disappear_ from my life. Just like...”

“Like Mom?” he asked gently. Katie swallowed hard as tears flooded her eyes. “Oh, Katie,” her brother pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms tight around her.

“I didn’t think it was...possible that he’d like me _that_ way and when people around me couldn’t believe it and then _I_ didn’t want to believe it when things got _real_.”

“Do you want to fix things?”

“No, no I don’t. He deserves bet-”

“ _Katie_.”

“I mean, I...I don’t know how…”

“There is _one_ way. Lucky for you, you’re already good at it,” Matt sighed. Katie heard a crinkle of paper. She lifted her head and watched him reach into his pocket. Her eyes widened as he dropped the object to her lap.

“I found this when I was unpacking. I guess I missed it.”

Her fingers grasped the edges of the pale blue envelope, Lance’s name written in neat block letters on the front in her handwriting. The third letter.

"When you're ready," Matt sighed, sitting up with Bae Bae in his arms. "I don't want to push you to do something you don't want. But Pidge, give yourself time to think. Get rid of that habit of closing into yourself."

Any other day, Katie would have blown her top at him. But this time, in her state, she could only nod meekly. As soon as Matt left her room, she stood up, headed to her wardrobe and hid the letters behind a few boxes. 

* * *

 

The week of Christmas, Katie devoted all her time to her friends and family. Matt and her cooked and baked out of their nonna’s cookbook as they always did every year, with their father hovering nervously by the side, running off to the shops to get them missing ingredients when needed.

Allura and Romelle came by her home on Christmas Eve for dinner. They brought along with their uncle, Coran, who’d gone to the incredible effort of bringing home-made haggis that only her father was brave enough to try. Hunk and the Rizavis too joined later, with Nadia and Romelle beating all of them in charades and her and her brother losing miserably. Ironically, she’d thought to herself.

On Christmas morning, she woke to her brother dragging her out of bed so they could open presents. Matt had gotten her a new portable toolkit - one she was sure she would make great use of especially when she would begin constructing a full build of B-ZER in the summer.

Her father handed her an old box tied in green and gold string. “Your mother made a box for the both of you,” he began with a sentimental smile. “Matt got his when he turned eighteen and you were supposed to get it then too, next year. But it’s the last Christmas we’ll spend in this old house... I figured it’s the best time.”

Katie settled on the floor as she accepted the box, carefully undoing the ribbon as she opened the lid. On the very top, sat a pastel green photo album. It was filled with pictures of herself as a baby, starting from ultrasound scans, her mother’s letters to her when she was pregnant and, at the very bottom, a stack of envelopes tied neatly with string. She pulled out one with torn edges and out-dated stamps on the envelope. In neat cursive that was distinctly her mother's, the letter was addressed to Samuel Holt.

“Try not to read mine,” her father flushed. “I still get embarrassed thinking about it.” Her brows rose, so her mother  _had_ posted one of her own letters in the end.

“It’s perfect Dad,” she’d sighed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gave him a hug. Her father returned it warmly, pressing a kiss to her hair.

“Your mother would be so proud of you, Katie,” he’d murmured, stroking her cheek lovingly.

She spent her whole Christmas poring through her mother’s letters to her. Each squeezed at her heart and made her long for her but at the same time, gave her the feeling that she was with her.

She wanted her mother to be proud of her, as her father said.

“Matt?” she spoke up croakily from her spot in front of the fireplace. He glanced over her way from the couch, putting down the new game Katie had programmed for him. One look at her face was all he needed.

“I’ll drive you.”

* * *

 

The Serranos’ home was draped in festive lights. The porch, the edges of the roof and even the trees out the front had colorful lights strung through. A few cars were parked out in the driveway and Katie gulped nervously. The house looked packed with people and she hoped that she wasn’t intruding in on a family gathering.

She glanced back at Matt who waited in his car. He gave her an encouraging nod, indicating he was going to wait right there for her. She sighed and her fingers shakily reached into her pocket, pulling out the pale blue envelope while her other hand balanced the gingerbread bundt cake Matt and her made together. Making her way up the front porch, she pressed the doorbell and walked back a few steps. Her heart hammered in her chest as footsteps made their way to the door.

Familiar eyes looked down at her, but they were not his.

“Rachel,” she breathed, squirming a little underneath the tall girl’s unwavering gaze. “Hey. Happy holidays.”

“Happy holidays to you too, Pidge,” she smiled easily, hugging her body as the outside chill blew into the house. “You want to come in? Gotta warn ya, my family might eat you alive. Not that they’re unfriendly or anything like me, they’re just a bunch of rabidly curious cats.”

“No, I-I shouldn’t…” she flushed. “I just wanted to hand this cake off and maybe talk to Lance for a bit?”

Rachel accepted the cling-wrapped cake and looked over to her with a raised brow.

“...Didn’t he tell you? Lance left for Arizona this morning.” Seeing her blank look, Rachel continued. “The aptitude test? He’s headed over there with Veronica. We have some family there so he’s spending the rest of the holidays with them. Won’t be back for a few weeks.”

Katie squeezed her eyes and groaned mentally. How could she have forgotten? It was the one thing she did right by him and she’d already forgotten.

“No, no I remember now. I just completely forgot,” she sighed heavily and handed over the envelope. “Do you mind handing this to him?”

Rachel’s eyes lit up at the envelope and she reached for it slowly. She looked over at Katie and gave a slow nod. “Not at all...Though, I have to ask,” she sighed glancing back for a bit as though to check no one was there. “Are you and Lance, okay?”

Katie bit her lip and drew her gaze down to her boots. “I...I’d say no. We’re not okay.”

“You guys broke up?!” her voice raised a notch and she quietened herself with a palm over her own mouth. She glanced backwards to make sure none of her family noticed and returned her  expectant gaze at her.

At her prolonged silence, Rachel set the cake down and closed the door behind her. Ignoring her protests, she tugged her over to one of the seats on the porch. “I don’t want to be the nosy sister again, but these past few months, you made my brother so... _happy_. After our dad died...and with how Jenny betrayed him...he was just so listless. He felt responsible for all of us and took care of everyone but himself. He didn’t get back to his old self until he met you.”

Katie gulped and she hoped her face didn’t give her away. But Rachel continued. “It’s just that...my brother, he’s the kind of guy who acts like he’s such a debonair, right? But he’s really just a big puppy who trusts people too easily. He was just so... _into_ you - way more than I’ve ever seen him with anyone else. As a sister, it was sickening to watch but, with how much he’s been looking after us, I was just glad someone was letting him be his goofy self again.”

Katie’s breathed out slowly, her throat closing in. “No,” she croaked weakly. “He was not in love with me,” she bit her lip, hoping that she wasn’t making a mistake in telling this to Rachel. “It was all pretend. We had a contract and everything. He only pretended to be in love with me because I lied to him and told him I was in love with Keith and-”

She paused as Rachel’s hand gripped her shoulder. “Girl, can I tell you something? I knew.”  

Katie’s jaw dropped and she snapped her head to look at her. “Lance might be responsible, but he’s still a dumbass teenage boy that forgets to empty his pockets before he does the laundry. I found bits of the contract in the wash and well...connected the dots.”

“For how long?”

“A while. A _long_ while,” Rachel laughed and sat back into her seat. “I mean, even with _that_. None of it seemed fake to me. You clearly liked him a lot and he...he fell for you a long time ago. I don’t think there was a time he thought the relationship was fake.”

“That can’t be true,” she scoffed. “He’s always liked Jenny. He’s not over her.”

Rachel rolled her eyes and looked over to her. “That girl’s name is banned in this household. Do you even know what she did to him?”

She shook her head. “I never asked. It looked like a sore spot for him.”

The brunette twisted the fraying edges of her sweater as she frowned. “She got with him because she thought Veronica could help her weasel her way into the Garrison.” Katie’s jaw dropped and Rachel just nodded. “Yeah, she’s something huh?”

Her eyes squeezed shut and she pressed her hands to them, she’d hurt him more than she expected - accusing him of the very thing Jenny did wrong by him. “It doesn’t matter anyway, I took him for granted and I- I hurt him,” she blinked back tears, willing herself not to cry once more during the holidays. She’d done enough of that this week. “You were right Rachel, I probably wasn’t suited for him.”

“I never said that,” Rachel murmured gently, her eyes softening exactly they way his would. She slid closer to her, an arm slinging across her shoulders. “I never said you weren’t _suited_. But I guess my scary, overprotective sister act didn’t help, huh? I’m sorry about that,” she nudged her lightly.

“Trust me Pidge, he’s crazy about you.” She looked embarrassed for a bit and fiddled with the sleeves of her sweater. “I mean...I’ve seen him write those love notes to you. I teased him about those a lot but I could tell that huge sap really poured his heart in those notes.”

She didn’t need to hear more. “Can you just - please just make sure you hand him the letter?”

“Why not do it yourself when he comes back in a few weeks?”

Katie shook her head despondently. “No, he _definitely_ would not want to see me. Not after-” She shook her head, unable to complete her own sentence and stood up. She reached forward and picked up the letter again, handing it to her. “Just...tell him he was right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the penultimate chapter! I hope you've enjoyed it. Please do tell me your thoughts ♥


	8. The First Make-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This has been a *journey*. I really took my time writing the final chapter because there were so many strings to tie up and I just got distracted with other stories and new plots (that you might see real soon or have already read!) so this chapter kept getting pushed back. All in all, gear yourselves up for more teen drama, romance and hopefully some laughs!

 

_“Lance! That’s cheating!”_

_“No it isn’t,” the boy laughed, dodging her elbow. Katie watched in annoyance as her character died on screen for the fifth time in a row and groaned dramatically, collapsing back onto her pillows._

_"You’re annoying,” she grumbled, an arm thrown over her eyes. “I hate you.”_

_“Sure you do,” she could hear the beaming grin in his reply and threw one of her pillows in his general direction. She winced as she heard a crash and jolted up, watching Lance jump off her bed to pick up the fallen items from her bedside table._

_Katie went over to his side, cursing her lack of foresight to hide all her stuffed toys before he came over. It was the first time she’d allowed him into her room - only so she could show him her vintage and very limited edition Killbot game - and already, she regretted her decision to._

_“You like mermaids huh?” Lance smiled picking one off the floor and setting it back on her table. “I used to like them too.” He reached for one of her teddy bears and froze. Katie nervously stacked her pens back into their holder, watching him from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t read his expression from this angle, but she hoped he wasn’t horrified his fake girlfriend still had teddy bears in her bedroom._

_“Is this...the charm I gave you?” He slowly turned the bear over to show her the silver necklace that dangled around its neck. The charm’s silver coating had dulled over the years, but it was exactly as she remembered. Heat rushed to her cheeks and she shrugged._

_“Maybe, I don’t recall.” But Lance was grinning at her far too widely and so she picked up her poor Sailor Moon plush to throw his way, hitting squarely on his dopey face. “I completely forgot it was even there.”_

_Lance touched the charm gently, his features softening as he inspected the charm. “Can I take this? I’ll polish it and give it back.”_

_“You don’t hav-”_

_“I_ know _I don’t have to, Pidge. I want to.”_

_She parted her lips, racking her brain for a good reason but just sighed in defeat. Lance slipped the necklace off the bear and carefully stored it in his wallet._

_“It’ll be sparkling new by the time I’m done with it,” he promised._

* * *

 

"Hey man, is this the testing room for the piloting candidates?"

"Yeah," Lance lifted his candidate card.

"Oh great. This place keeps getting bigger every time I come back. This seat taken?" Lance offered a polite side-smile to the boy, and shook his head. He watched the boy, brown-haired and broad-shouldered, slide into the seat next to his. Behind him, Lance heard a girl whisper _"He's cute."_

Any other day, Lance would have been more than happy to make a new friend. But he wasn't himself that morning. In truth, he hadn't been himself in a while. A full two weeks had passed since Pidge and his' 'breakup' and the numbness in his chest had yet to alleviate.

It was odd, Pidge and himself barely were official - at least, to each other. Nearly everyone had bought into their relationship and Rachel herself had admitted that Pidge was good for him after the dinner date with his mother. It had to mean something - and it did, to _him_ \- but it was obvious now that it didn't mean much to Pidge. He knew he shouldn’t have put so much weight on her letters.

"Are you nervous?" the boy next to him asked, twirling a pencil effortlessly between his fingers. He had a wide, confident smile and Lance couldn't help but feel something of annoyance at it. But he _was_ nervous, and his hands have been a little shaky since waking this morning, but for the first time in his educational career, he was actually, _fully_ prepared for a test. He had Pidge to thank for that...but they weren't talking anymore. 

"A little bit," he admitted, sitting forward.

"I'm James, by the way," a hand stretched out towards him. The name made Lance pause and he slowly turned to the boy, looking at his hand and then up to his disgustingly handsome face. "James Griffin."

"Lance," he mumbled gruffly, shaking his hand awkwardly. Imagine his luck; a chance meeting with the boy who gave the girl he was stupidly in love with her first kiss. "Lance Serrano."

"Serrano?" James blinked and sat back. "You wouldn’t happen to be related to Veronica Serrano by any chance?"

"Yeah, she's my sister," he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. James’ brows lifted as he smiled amiably.

"Oh man. Small world, huh? She was my mentor when I interned here last summer."

Lance didn't know how to tell him that he knew that.He knew a lot more about James than he was willing to admit; but instead of saying anything else in reply, he offered a strained, polite smile. "That's cool."

Behind him, the girls giggled as James turned to chat with them and Lance prayed for a quick, painless death. He was in an odd mood - had been for several weeks now. Spending time with his family helped ease the ache in his chest, but there was no denying that it didn’t look like it was going away anytime soon.

Even his breakup with Jenny didn’t hurt nearly as much and they were together far longer he and Pidge were. Well, together in his head, at least.

Veronica, in a weak attempt to make him feel better, had asked him if he’d like to move to Arizona permanently. Even if he didn’t get into the Garrison, he could live with her in her apartment while he sorted himself to the local colleges. A change in scenery would do good for him, she’d reasoned.

At first, the idea seemed absurd to him, but the thought of going back to Altea didn’t sit well with him either. He missed his family like crazy, of course. But there was a lot of pain and heartbreak back home that came back to haunt him.

His phone buzzed with a text just then.

 

**_R: When are you coming back dummy?_**

 

**_L: I don’t know Rach…_ **

**_L: I think I might stay on with Ronnie for a bit longer._ **

 

 **_R: No way! You’re coming straight home after that test!_**  

**_R: I have something important to give you._ **

 

Lance’s brow lifted at his sister’s reply. Usually, she was more than eager to have him out of the house - it meant she had free reign over the game consoles and even used his car as and when she pleased. But it had to be the first time she demanded that he return. As he began typing up a reply, a stern-looking man in uniform marched into the room.

The silence in the room was immediate as the man - whose embroidered name tag read _M. Iverson_ \- scrutinised the room. Lance gulped as the older man’s single, uncovered eye landed on the phone in his hands. He quickly tucked it into his backpack and sat up straight.

“I’ll keep this simple for you brats. No cheating. No use of electronic devices. No talking. The moment I sense any _funny_ business, rest assured you _will_ be escorted out of the premises with no recourse and _permanently_ banned from future admissions.”

As the papers were handed out, the light shake in his hands returned. There was a nudge to his side and James gave him a discrete smile and mouthed “ _Good luck_ ”. His eyes darted to Iverson, who was occupied with programming the timers before he returned the gesture in kind.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He worked hard to reach this stage. Reaching this far was beyond his wildest dreams and he wasn’t about to stuff it up over a heartbreak. He opened his eyes and glanced down towards the paper, Pidge’s rare praises and her  encouragements over the weeks she tutored him as his scores improved rang clear in his head. She believed in him and never once doubted he’d make it.

He got this.

 

* * *

 

“Well, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be,” James stretched his arms above his head. Lance would have read that as cocky, but the boy didn’t seem like the type beyond the surface and he knew it was his jealousy talking.

“Yeah, my girlf- I mean, a _friend_ of mine who’s already in told me the test is pretty straightforward. It’s just getting really high scores that’s the challenge.”

James nodded in agreement as he pulled on his jacket. “Yeah, I heard that too! From the girl I used to intern with here.” The thought of her alone seemed to light up James’ disposition and a coy smile formed soon after. “I promised her I’d ask her out if I made it here. Looks like I might have a chance,” he chuckled and ran a hand through his effortlessly tousled hair. Lance could almost feel people swooning behind him.

“Oh hey, Ina! Wait up!” Jame hoisted his bag over his shoulder and turned to shake his hand. “Nice meeting you man, maybe I’ll see ya this Fall?”

The strained smile returned again and Lance shook his hand as they parted ways. “I’ll see ya.”

“Wow.”

The familiar voice had him nearly spraining his neck when he turned. “ _Nadia_?!” his eyes going wide as they fell on the smug-looking girl. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

A dark brow lifted in amusement. “What? They’ve been taking women in since the sixties Serrano,” she tilted her head to look past him and grinned. “I see you’ve met Katie’s ex.”

“Did you apply in secret or something?” Lance sighed, hoping to change the subject. She shrugged and tucked her hands into her jacket pockets.

“My parents wanted me to go to medical school real bad, so I had to keep it under wraps. They think I’m at some interviews for it. Kat doesn’t know either.”

“Why?”

“If Mr Holt found out that I got in he might, I don’t know, run into them and congratulate them? I’m paranoid like that. Literally no one knows. Well, besides the teachers. They had to write my recommendation letters.”

Lance blinked at that. “Wait, how do you know you’re already in? We literally just finished the test.”

Nadia shrugged, “I _know_ I crushed that exam.”

Lance wished he had a fraction of her self-assurance. She grabbed his arm and dragged him away from the throngs of hopeful candidates. “You know applications tripled this year? Apparently the seats got reduced too. I heard that they are only taking in about two hundred - and that’s pilots and cadets _combined_.”

He blanched at that. His expectations had always been low but once he’d gotten through the first round, he dared to hope that he had a solid chance. After hearing that, it seemed like they’ve only gotten more steep.

Nadia pulled him into the cafeteria and they join the line. “Man, I’m _starving_. You wanna grab some grub? There’s lunch for test-takers in the cafeteria.” Lance nodded absentmindedly, looking about him at the hundreds of hopefuls around them. He knew there was more than one day of testing so it meant he was probably looking at only a fraction of his competition. His mind briefly went to James and his mood only soured further.

“Hey, you okay? You look pale.” Nadia prodded his cheek and he pushed her arm away with a sigh.

“It’s nothing.”

Nadia groaned. “Good grief, the two of you are made for each other.”

It took Lance a few moments to realize what she was talking about and he blinked. Much like Pidge had picked up his bad habit of running stops signs when getting her to drive, he’d picked up her habit of closing in on herself.

“You guys need to kiss and make-up,” Nadia declared, pointedly plopping two plates of lasagna on her tray and piling on more sides as she went down the line. Lance grabbed a plate, still a little numb to feel hungry and glumly followed after her to a table.

“I don’t think we _need_ to do anything,” he sighed. “We’re probably going to be going our separate ways soon.”

Nadia frowned. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know if I’ll make it here. If I don’t, I’d probably go back home and get a full-time job or something.”

“ _Jeez_ boy, have a little more faith in yourself,” Nadia grumbled through a mouth full of salad. “Katie didn’t spend her evenings tutoring you just so you could act like a coward at this stage. You got this far, didn’t you?”

“Speaking of Pidge, why didn’t you tell her that you were applying?” He diverted the topic again, stabbing a cherry tomato with a fork and absolutely _not_ pretending it was James’ perfect head. The look Nadia gave him told him that she didn’t miss his tactic at all.

She merely sighed. “I just didn’t want to get her hopes up.”

“ _Your_ hopes, you mean?” Lance smirked. She wasn’t as self-assured as he thought.

“Look, I had reason to think they wouldn’t pick me! I got stellar grades but my discipline records from my old school… not so stellar. Plenty of awesome stories to tell my future grandkids though.” He rolled his eyes at that. “I’ve been on my best behavior all year and I guess it finally paid off. You have any idea how utterly _painful_ it is to have the opportunity to prank Coach Sanda and _not_ do it?”

Lance laughed for the first time in days. He needed to introduce Rachel to her; he had a feeling the two of them would get along really well.

* * *

 

**_N: Totally owned that interview. You might be seeing me around real soon ;)_ **

Katie laughed and put aside her phone.

New Years’ had passed by without much fanfare - which was just how she preferred it. Romelle and Allura had visited her often during the holiday break to keep her company with sleepovers, movie marathons (her choice of films, for once) and copious slices of pizza at Sal’s. Nadia and Hunk too, came over for game nights and helping her with B-ZER’s programming. Truly, the best cure for a heartbreak was time with friends. 

Matt had returned to Arizona that day after New Years’ with the promise of coming back in the summer to help her move. Though her heartbreak stung less with the help of time spent with her brother and father, a part of her still longed for Lance; for his warm hugs, his smiles and his goofy self that could effortlessly lift her spirits. Problem was, he was nowhere to be seen in Altea. Rachel had been helpful enough to give her updates - his test had gone without a hitch, he’d travelled a little bit with a cousin - but there was no indication of when Lance would return to Altea.

She had no tabs on him, but somehow, she still felt jilted . Not that Lance owed her any time, but she thought he would have craved closure as much as she did after their argument. She owed him an apology at the very least and as much as she would rather he read her letter and call it a day so she could go back to shoving her emotions into the deep crevices of her mind, Lance deserved one that was face-to-face.

But today, as she readied herself for yet another week in the final term of her senior year - sans fake boyfriend - she made the decision to do just that. Her phone buzzed with a text and she reached for it after pulling her hair into a ponytail.

**_R: He’s not coming back this week :( He’s gone travelling with a few cousins._ **

Her shoulders slumped and Katie tucked her phone into her jeans’ pocket. Bae Bae padded into her room just then, and sensing her ennui, whined in concern by her feet. “I’m okay, boy,” she murmured, bending down to stroke his head. Bae Bae too, seemed a little disconcerted by the lack of Lance in their household. “I miss him too,” she whispered. Much like how Bae Bae would wait by the door for her father to return from work at the approximate time, her poor pupper waited by the door on the days Lance came over for tutoring. Lance would indulge her pup with pets and as much scratches as he could give and it was no wonder he missed him.

“Sweetheart? Allura’s waiting!”

“Be right down, Dad!”

She sighed and picked up her backpack. Another week of absolute normalcy. Wasn’t that what she wanted from the start? 

* * *

 

 

_Three months later_

 

“Hey. Um, I’m the one adopting the black husky? Kosmo?”

Katie looked up from the paperwork to meet familiar dark eyes.

“Keith!” she sat up instantly and glanced down to the papers. She’d been expecting a Krolia Kogane but it never occurred to her that it’d be Keith who’d come by.

“My mom’s caught up at work so...I’m here,” he blinked solemnly.

“Oh, yeah sure that should be fine. Dr. Hamilton’s seeing a patient now so you might have to wait a bit.”

“I can wait,” he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his gaze to the message boards. Katie fumbled with her pen cap and sighed, setting it down firmly. The awkward silence between them was bothering her.

“So...um, applied to any colleges?”

“Yeah. One in the U.K.”

Katie blinked in surprise. “Oh wow. That’s quite the distance.”

Keith shrugged. “Mom’s work is taking us there anyway.”

“Which one?”

“Queen Melenor’s.”

It sounded familiar to her but she couldn’t place it.

"..."

"..."

“Would you like to see him?”

Keith’s head whipped to her and he nodded. Katie led him to the kennels in the back. Most were empty again - as they usually were this time of year when people adopted pets to surprise loved ones with. But Kosmo had always been a bit of a challenging adoptee. As much of a lovable ball of fluff he was, he was far too excitable to be around young children and far too unrestrained to be a family pet. He needed someone to rough house with and calm him down before he leaves behind a trail of destruction. Otherwise, he was one of the sweetest dogs Katie had ever met.

Kosmo jumped out as soon as Katie opened the gate. He tackled her to the floor, slobbering all over her cheeks until she pulled him off her and the puppy tackled his new owner. Keith’s stoic mask cracked and Katie watched on with amusement as he knelt to scratch behind his ears.

“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into,” she laughed and over to Keith.

“Yeah, we do,” Keith picked up the puppy easily, letting him lick his cheek. “Mom’s had her eye on this pup for a while.”

She smiled as Keith’s eyes softened, holding the puppy closer to him so he could rub his belly. A comfortable silence fell between them up until Keith decided to speak up.

“This really is none of my business. But I heard you broke up with Serrano.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s ah- a shame.”

“Yeah. We- um, we probably were too different.”

Keith blinked at her response and Katie couldn’t help but fidget. He looked to be the type who knew when people were lying.

“Remember when we got paired to do that project and he refused to leave?” Keith spoke up suddenly. “That’s how I knew. He wouldn’t stop glaring at me every time I breathed near you.”

“Knew what?”

“That he was crazy for you.”

“He left us. Eventually.”

“Yeah, after you told him to. You only had to say it once too. Boy’s whipped.”

Awkward silence filled the space between them and Kosmo looked from one teen to the next.

“Well...it doesn’t matter anymore. He probably doesn’t want to be around me.”

Keith sighed tiredly and set down Kosmo who immediately whinnied by her lap. She picked up the puppy and cuddled him close.

“I’d doubt that,” Keith began. “If he’s avoiding you...I’d say it’s because he’s afraid of holding you back.”

Katie looked up and frowned. “How do you know so much?”

“Word gets around,” Keith shrugged. “Allura’s real invested in you two too.”

Katie’s head whipped up and she stared at Keith. “ _Allura_?”

Keith froze, as though realizing his slip. Was that a _blush_ on his cheeks? Keith Kogane doesn’t do blushing. Or emotions. Or girls. At least, that’s what most of the student body thought. But now she realized why his college sounded so familiar. It was the one Allura mentioned she had enrolled in.

“He’s moping by the pool, by the way. At school.”

“He’s _here_?” she screeched. Keith winced as she stood up abruptly, Kosmo yipping in alarm in her arms. Her mind whirled and all thoughts went to calculating the fastest route to her high school. “I-I should go get Dr. Hamilton.”

“...Cool.”

* * *

 

Lance dove into the deep end of the pool.  His body uplifted by the buoyancy, his arms cleanly cutting through the water with each stroke and the sounds of the world drowned out. He seated himself at the floor, a few bubbles escaped his lips as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. Underwater, Lance felt in control. Underwater, he was most at peace.

That was what he craved the most - peace. He wanted time to think about the next step of his life, more time to consider his options. He’d been so fixated on entering the Garrison, he hadn’t considered applying to other colleges. Did he even _want_ to go to other colleges?

His mother persuaded him to register for ordinary flight school, but flying commercial was never a part of his dream. Rachel recommended enlisting for the Air Force and he did seriously consider it, but his boyhood dream of eventually reaching _space_ wasn’t going to be fulfilled that way either.  

Veronica had asked if he’d like to go camping with her (in actuality, dragged him by the ear) - something his dad used to do to escape the stresses of general life and for their family to have bonding time - and he agreed it was something he needed. She had time off work and he had nothing better to do. Water polo season was over and even if Coach Sanda asked if he’d like to coach the swim team, he didn’t think he could handle seeing a certain petite girl on a daily basis and not want to reach out to her.

She deserved better.

He curled in on himself, allowing the several feet of water above him press down on him while gently pushing him upward. After a time, he pushed his feet against the floor and surfaced, gasping for air.

“Quiznack, what the hell were you trying to do? Drown yourself?”

His head snapped to the voice and he pushed the mop of sopping wet hair off his eyes. “ _Pidge_?!” he exclaimed. There she stood by the edge of the pool, leaning on her knees as she panted. She looked winded for some reason, as though she had run a great long distance to see him. He too, felt like he just ran a marathon. His heart was racing far more than it should as soon as he heard her voice.

“I _really_ need to start driving on my own,” she panted, sitting heavily on the edge. Lance’s hands immediately stretched out as he waded closer to her. He remembered the last time Pidge had stood too close to a pool and couldn’t help the small smile. “And maybe I should have tried out for track,” Pidge continued, undoing her shoes and dipping her feet into the water.

“Are you coming in?” Lance asked warily, arms stretched out again to catch her if needed. She was sitting on the edge of the deepest end of the pool and one slip was enough for her to drown. He should have taught her to swim.

Pidge seemed to seriously consider it but she eventually shook her head. “I like this sweater too much.”

They were both quiet for a bit before he decided to break the silence. “Are you...alright?” he asked gently.

“I’m completely fin-” she stopped herself and sighed. “No. I’m not alright.” Her pretty eyes cast downward and her lips pulled to a frown. He heard a sharp intake of breath and Pidge’s eyes lifted to rest evenly on his. Then, in a rushed whisper, she uttered the words he least expected. “I’m sorry.”

For several seconds, he gaped stupidly at her. He blinked and swam closer to rest his arms on the edge of the pool. He felt her eyes on him, watching him nervously as he pulled himself out of the water to sit next to her. Pidge spoke up again, this time her eyes cast out to the still, deep blue waters of the pool. “I should have trusted you. I hurt you and...and I have no excuse for it. Just that I’m a coward and was so _so_ afraid.”

“Afraid?” he leaned closer to her, watching her cheeks flush pink and her eyes briefly darting down to his bare chest as he squinted down her face. “I made you feel afraid?”

“No!” Pidge shook her head furiously. “Not _you_ . I always feel safe and... _happy_ with you. It was - I was... afraid of love,” she admitted with a frustrated grumble. “It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud but it’s the truth.”

Lance processed her reply quietly. He knew his silence made her more uncomfortable but he wanted to make sure every word he said to her was carefully thought out. “I’m sorry too.” 

“For what?”

“For walking away.”

“I don’t blame you for doing that,” Pidge frowned. “I would have walked out on me too.”

“But I love you,” he said it so easily, he didn’t even realize he’s been thinking out loud till he saw Pidge’s entire face turn a comical shade of red. “I knew what you struggled with, but I walked out on you when you needed reassurance,” he continued in earnest.

“And I’m glad you did,” Pidge refused to make eye contact with him. She pulled her feet out of the water and hugged her knees to her chest. “I deserved that Lance. Don’t! No. Do _not_ fight me on this.”

Lance’s protest died in his throat. He quietly mulled over her words before speaking up. “You know, I used to be really... _intimidated_ by you,” he began, running a hand through his wet hair.

Pidge frowned. “Did I do something to make you feel that way?”

“Oh quiznack, no! It’s just...you were so comfortable in your own skin, you love what you do and just...I don’t know. I figured a girl like you wouldn’t see anything in a dumb guy like me.”

“I thought I told you to stop putting yourself down like that.”

Lance grinned and gave her a mock salute. “Sorry ma’am.”

“And stop looking at me like that,” she grumbled, hugging herself tighter.

“Like what?” he leaned closer to her, a wide grin present, fully aware of what proximity did to her.

Pidge flushed and pushed his face away. “Like… _that_.”

He laughed heartily and reached for her hand. He allowed his fingers to cradle hers, giving her the opportunity to pull her hand away if she wasn’t comfortable. But her own, smaller fingers curled lightly in his and he closed his own warmly around hers. His thumb stroked languidly over her knuckles - the heights of which were so familiar to him from the many times he’d held her hand while driving, walking her home or just because. It was weird to think she was anything _but_ his girlfriend now.

“Why do I feel like you’re about to say goodbye to me?”

A chill ran down his spine. She’d read his mind.

He took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “...Something like that,” he managed. Pidge went still and Lance desperately hoped he wasn’t making the biggest mistake of his life. “But it’s not because I want to, Pidge. Quiznack, I’d do _anything_ to keep you for myself, butthat would be selfish.”

“I still don’t understand why you think you are even capable of being selfish.”

“I can be, Pidge. You haven’t seen the worst of me yet.”

But Pidge was tearing up at this point and Lance could only think of making her feel better. “ _Pidge,_ you know I hate seeing you cry.”

“Then don’t break up with me,” she sniffled. “If you won’t be selfish, let me. I was stupid for believing Jenny-”

“It’s not about that, Pidge. I promise,” Lance interrupted firmly. “I can never stay mad at you. It was a stupid thing to get mad about anyway. We were just being stupid teens and...well, that’s just it.”

Pidge turned her head away from him as more tears spilled down her cheeks and Lance found himself blinking away some tears himself.

“If we run into each other again,” he pressed on, hoping to lighten her mood. “Maybe when we reconnect in our thirties and we're both single…”

“We get married?” She laughed, wiping her eyes. “That’s so corny.”

Lance shrugged. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I would fall in love with you all over again. I fell in love with just a letter.”

“But why?”

“Why what?”

“Why love _me_? I don’t- I just don’t get it.”

“What’s there to get, Pidge? You’re beautiful, you’re crazy smart-”

There was a swat to his shoulder. “Lance. That was _not_ your cue to stroke my ego.”

“I’m sorry but it’s just... I don’t think there’s _anyone_ out there who could drag me and my terrible ‘arithmetic methods’ for an hour straight and still make me want to kiss them.I don’t think anyone has offered to babysit for me. _And_ I don’t think there’s anyone I’ve met who’s pushed me... _challenged_ me the way you have. I see you, and I just want to be a better person.”

Pidge gaped at him.

“And look, Nadia and Sylvio are adorable but _man_ , they can get demonic. No one’s offered to babysit for me. And you came back for more too! They usually scare the living daylights out of seasoned babysitters.”

“We have our tiny stature as a bonding factor,” she quipped. “I can see from their level.”

Lance grinned. “You want a scientific reason? I can’t give you one Pidge. I’m just a huge sucker for you.” He nudged her shoulder. “Why’d you love _me_?”

Pidge flushed and shrugged. “Jury’s still out on that one.”

A comfortable silence fell between them and Lance made a decision for the both of them.

“I wish we had more time,” he began. “And I wish I had the nerve to ask you out- heck, just _befriend_ you all those years ago.”

“Would it really have made a difference? Even if we were friends, I think I still would have secretly pined after you and you would have not known at all.”

“Aw come on, I’d like to think I’m more observant than that.”

“Lance, I’ve secretly loved you for _seven_ years.”

He shook his head and leaned to press a kiss to her cheek. “And I’m a quiznacking idiot for not seeing it sooner.”

“We still can-”

“Pidge.”

“We can make it work!”

“ _Pidge_. No.” Her shoulders slumped and Lance’s pulled her closer to his side. It hurt him to see her so dejected because of him but he knew he was doing this for her own good. “You have a life waiting for you in Arizona - at the Garrison. I don’t want you to think about anything but that.”

Pidge’s eyes misted over then and Lance wanted to punch himself for making her cry. “Are you sure?” she whispered, turning her head as soon as his fingers nudged her chin to face him.

“I...I’m sure, Pidge,” he sighed, pulling her close to his chest. “I’m sorry. You helped me so much though. I don’t think I would have sat through that test without having a panic attack if it weren’t for you.”

“Why are you acting like the Garrison rejected you already?”

Lance winced and looked away. Admitting weakness had never been his strong point, but he quickly realized then and now that his bigger weakness was right in front of him.

“Call it a hunch,” he sighed. “It’s not that I did badly. It’s just...there’s too many _good_ candidates and well, I’m just happy I made it this far at all.”

“Oh…” she mumbled against his skin. Her cheek rested against his chest and he heard her sigh softly. “I really wanted you to be there...with me.”

Lance wanted to tell her how much he considered moving to Arizona just so he could be near her. So he could enrol in the college a few miles off and drive to her in the weekends. But Pidge was starting a new life, one that she had been looking forward to for an entire year. Who was he to think he could just insert himself in, when he barely noticed her till a year ago? She deserved a new, fresh start. Besides, he could watch over his family if he stayed.

For a long while, they sat quietly and Lance slowly - reluctantly - pulled his arm away. He pulled his legs out of the water and Pidge hurriedly stood. She hesitated, as if struggling to find the words. What did people say in a situation like theirs? He loved her, she loved him but they had to go their separate ways.

He kissed the top of her head gently and turned towards the boys’ locker room as steadily as his legs would let him.

“Lance! Wait!”

He paused and turned to her. Pidge strode towards him determinedly - much like she did all those months ago in the very room. “Lean down,” she whispered, her head tilted up towards him. Lance’s heart jump-started again, and he complied. She was still a hard person to say no to.

He closed his eyes and sure enough, he felt her soft lips...on his cheek. Before she could step away, his arm hooked around her waist and he pulled her in. His other hand cradled the back of her head and he sealed his lips over hers. Her small form melted to his in a way that was way too familiar for him and he _knew_ he would be longing after. Even when they parted, and Pidge's fingers slowly and reluctantly pulled away from his shoulders, the longing in his chest didn't abide.

He looked down, deep into her eyes and found himself thinking back to his conversation with Nadia. Was he doing this to keep her from having her hopes up or his own?

“Let me give you a lift home.”

* * *

 

Lance’s hand barely left hers. He held it as they walked to his car, as he drove her quietly to his home and not until he walked her to her doorstep.

It felt so right and warm in hers - his thumb occasionally rubbing soothing circles or lifted to his lips for a random kiss. It was almost like they were a couple again. Even as a fake one, Lance never skimped on affection and she was secretly glad he didn’t now, when they were the furthest from a couple they ever will be.

As he leaned down to press a parting kiss to her forehead and his fingers finally slipped away from hers, Katie found her voice.

“I’ll hold you to it,” her voice cracked but she focused instead on blinking away the tears that had begun to form. “The promise you made, if we ever meet again,” she explained, feeling her cheeks burn.

Lance gave her one of his dizzying grins, the sadness in his eyes thinly veiled. He reached for her hand and rested it over his chest. His heart thrummed underneath his jacket. “If it’s meant to be, it will be _mi reina_.”

Katie didn’t enter her home till the taillights of his car finally disappeared into the distance.

* * *

 

“Where the _hell_ were you?!”

Lance pulled his car into the driveway and frowned at his sister. “Nice to see you again too, Rach.” He released his seatbelt and reached for the door only to have his sister beat him to it.

“I’ve been calling you all day!”

“I left my phone in the car, I went for a swim.”

“You were supposed to come straight home!”

“Rach, what the hell? What are you angry about?”

“ _Please_ don’t tell me you’ve broken up with Katie.”

“We were never toge-”

“Oh _shut up_. Literally no one believes that. Here!” She shoved a blue envelope into his hands. Giving his sister a confused frown, he turned it over to see his name written in the familiar, precise blocky print. He was still for a few moments before calmly tucking the envelope into his jacket.

“Aren’t you going to read it?!”

“Maybe later. It’s not going to make much of a difference.”

“But-”

“ _Rachel_ , please. I had a...weird day.”

“Can you at least promise to meet her before she leaves?”

“I already met her. I just drove her home on the way back.”

His sister gaped at him and then nudged his shoulder expectantly. “And?” He avoided her gaze and only shook his head. Rachel pouted. “I can’t believe you let her go…”

“I can’t believe it either.”

* * *

 

 

_Dear Lance,_

_  
_ _It’s the first time I’m writing a letter to the same boy again. I don’t know why I’m writing this, but I just wanted to feel like I was talking to you. Well, -at- you, since you can’t reply to this obviously._

_Where do I start? Oh, how about today’s events? Sometimes I think you’re really stupid. Quantum physics is easy, how can you not know the basics of it? It’s okay, you still look cute when you look confused. The state science quiz isn’t really supposed to be easy, but it was nice of you to cover for Hunk even in something you know you won’t be good at. I don’t think my ego would let me do something like that._

_…I heard your dad was sick. You looked really worried the other day. I wish I knew the words to comfort you, but I’m useless when it comes to people. You aren’t though. As goofy as you are, you’re so kind and you always put others above yourself. I think that’s what I like the most about you._

_I still remember the hug you gave me when you came to my mother’s wake. I was in a foul mood that day, and didn’t wanna speak to you, but it really meant a lot to me that you came. I wish I had the courage to give you a hug today like everyone else. Everything will be okay._ _  
There’s so many things I wish I could tell you, but I’m no good with words. Really, who would’ve thought such minute chemical reactions in the brain could invoke such a feeling? Probably some neuroscientist but I digress._

_So, to the boy I love, I will tell you this; I’ve fallen for you and I have no idea how to pick myself up. I know this as a fact surer than that the Earth is an oblate spheroid. There really is no scientific explanation why – maybe because I find you attractive, or that you are nice to me - but there are so many others who fit those criterions and I don’t know why it’s you specifically that I keep coming back to._

_I know you’re in love with Jenny and have been for a long while. It broke my heart to see you two finally together, but, after you pined after her all these years, I’m just happy for you. I hope she makes you happy. You deserve someone who loves you back, who loves your goofy self._

_If all else fails, I hope we can be friends one day. Maybe the day I get the courage to connect with people._

_Love,_

_Pidge_

_P.S. I’m sorry, I don’t really think you’re stupid. You’re smart – and I really do mean that with every quark of my being. I hope you know that too._

 

_x_

 

_I might have written this a year ago, but everything in this letter still holds true. You were right. I’m in love with you. I doubted myself and you. I hurt you and I will always be sorry for that. I have no one to blame but myself. I’m so sorry I hurt you; I should have trusted you._

_You’ve been so good to me. I never thought someone like you would fall for me. And even if you did, I just waited for the day you’d walk out of my life because that was my biggest fear. You did, but it was only because I pushed you away._

_Like I said a year ago, you deserve someone that lets you be your goofy self. Someone who loves you as you are. I hope you find them one day and they’ll make you happy as much as you’ve made me happy._

_Thank you Lance, I hope you get into the Garrison. You’ve worked really hard all on your own and you deserve everything good that comes into your life._

_Happy New Year, loverboy. I miss you._  

* * *

 

 

Lance didn’t know what to feel or think. He had been heartbroken before, after his and Pidge’s fight. But this was a different sort of pain - a dull ache in his chest that weighed heavily in his heart - that he was sure a night out with the boys or time spent with family would be enough to fix. At least, not as quickly as he would like.

Her letter didn’t improve his mood, but it did make him glad things ended the way it did. There were worse ways to break up and one that involved a promise of loving her again should their cross paths shouldn't be as depressing as it felt.

Rachel had the good sense to give him space that day, even quickly taking over most of his chores before he could even begin them so he could mope all he wanted around the house. His mother would come by with food, hoping to ease a word or two from her ordinarily chatty son, but eventually leaving him be when he couldn’t even muster a weak smile for her. It was only when he finally embarked on his camping trip with Veronica - the one person in his family who understood his need for space and time to clear his mind - did he finally feel himself loosen up. Lake Arus was only a few miles off of Altea, but it was up in the mountains and enough of an escape that Lance didn’t find himself thinking about his future, his love life nor his familial responsibilities in the past few days.

At his sister’s insistence, he left behind his phone back at home. It was good - all his pictures of Pidge were on it and he knew he’d unconsciously reach for them if he didn’t. The only picture he had with him, rested over his breast pocket. It was the one of his father.

“Are you ready to talk now?” Veronica prodded casually. Her fingers worked on knitting a wonky, purple scarf - for her _girlfriend_ , he couldn’t help but bitterly think. 

“Is this why Mom was so eager to get rid of me?” Lance chuckled dryly, leaning back into the canvas chair. The small campfire crackled between them and the clinks of her knitting needles filled the silence. “I didn’t know I was driving into an intervention.”

“It’s not an ‘intervention’,” she answered patiently, her eyes focused still on the scarf. She paused for a moment, realizing now that her scarf wasn’t straight but only shrugged and continued. “I just figured you needed someone to talk to.”

“I don’t.”

Ronnie’s needles paused once more and Lance knew she was throwing her a look of exasperation. Nothing escaped his sisters and he should have known better than to play dumb.

“What do you want me to say Lance? We are worried about you. You go off on your own on trips and we don’t hear from you for long periods of time. I know you need your own space but quiznack, will it kill ya to give Rachel or Mom a call once in a while? They were worried _sick_ about you.”

Lance’s head bowed and he tucked his hands into his jacket pockets.

“I’m just....sad about Pidge and I breaking up...and the fact that I’m probably not getting into the Garrison. That’s it. I’ll get over it.”

“It’s not just about either of those things and you know it.”

Lance blinked and sat up straight. “What do you mean?”

“I _mean_ your need to take care of everyone around you. Since Dad passed, you put everything and everyone around you before your own needs. Right now, all your future decisions based around our family. I mean, there’s nothing innately wrong in it but you know that Mom and Rachel can do just fine without you?”

He bristled, but opted to just pick up a stick to poke at the fire. As much as Lance wanted to challenge her observation, he could not think of a rebuttal. It was true. He immediately thought of Pidge’s and his argument and how he was so ready to shoulder the blame. How he was ready to take the hit for Jenny.

“You’re so _young_ , Lance. Be a little selfish. Be a little...ruthless? I don’t know. Just...where was the competitive, driven little boy _pap_ _á_ raised to achieve whatever his little heart desired?”

People in their family often commented how much he looked like their father. But one thing many people missed - was how much Rafael Serrano’s oldest daughter took after him. 

“He had to take a break,” he mumbled lamely. “The family needed me to mature.”

“You are mature, Lance. Way more than the teenaged jerks when I was in high school.” His sister massaged her temples, clearly unused to handling teenage drama at her age. “All I’m saying is...don’t be afraid to lean on _us_. You’re still our baby brother and you’re still growing. We hate to see you carry all this burden by yourself.”

Lance shifted in his seat but sighed. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I really didn’t know you guys were so worried about me. That was the last thing I wanted.”

“I believe you,” Veronica stood up and walked to his side. She squeezed his shoulder gently. “And don’t worry so much about the future. Things will work themselves out. Otherwise, if it’s not meant to be, it’ll never be.”

Her last sentence rattled around his head up until the shrill cry of his sister’s ringtone broke his contemplative thoughts. He looked accusingly at his sister, who only rolled her eyes. “I have work!” She frowned down at her phone and muttered something about not catching a break under her breath before walking off. But she wasn’t gone for long.

“Lance?” he turned to see his sister hold out her phone to him. “It’s for you.”

* * *

 

Leaving Altea was something Katie had anticipated - and even looked forward to, at one point - for more than a year now, but it didn’t make it any less painful.

She had much to be thankful for. As it turned out, Nadia had been accepted into the Garrison much to her (and pretty much most of Altea and her parents’) surprise and absolute excitement. At the very least, she had one person from home nearby and she guessed it wouldn’t take much to hack into the Garrison’s system to ensure that they ended up roommates (per her friend’s own suggestion).

And of course, her father and her brother were going to be moving with her. As much as she felt like she was being uprooted, a good portion of what made home, _home_ was coming with her. She knew she would miss Allura and Romelle, who’d made the move back to Europe with their uncle to reconnect with lost, distant relatives. Hunk himself had chosen to attend a culinary school in Canada, only a few minutes drive away from where Shay lived.

Even now, as she unpacked her final moving box and looked about her new room - Katie knew she left a bit of her heart back in Altea. Her hand unconsciously went to her necklace. Her last contact with him had been the bouquet of daffodils she found on her porch on the day of her high school graduation. There had been no note, but a glint of silver had shown the charm strung into a new silver necklace gleaming among the bright yellow flowers.

“Kat! They’ve posted the flight simulator teams!” Nadia’s head poked into their room. “Do you remember that tall, quiet guy back in Altea? The new one every straight girl was getting wet for?”

“Ryan?”

“Yeah! That guy! He’s my technology engineer.”

Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. She knew that between picking groups and roommates, she had to sacrifice one or it’d look too suspicious. She wasn’t too eager in meeting new people. Again.

“Who’s in mine?” she asked, carefully tucking her necklace underneath the collar of her bright orange uniform.

Nadia, much to Katie’s anxiety, hid a smirk into her cuff. “You’ll see.” 

* * *

 

 

Katie had been living in the Garrison for only a week now, but every single time she saw a tall, dark-haired boy, her heart leapt with hope. It was habit she needed to get out of and judging by Nadia’s insistence that she meet this ‘new friend’ of hers, Katie guessed she would have plenty of distractions to help her with just that.

It didn’t take her very long to find the list - and the large crowd of first year cadets and pilots shaking hands and meeting their simulation partners for the first time. Matt had told her the groups were carefully selected to make sure each team had a diverse skillset and the people she was going to be partnered with were going to stay with her for at least a full two years.

Her finger rested over her neatly printed name with the designation of “Communications Engineer” in parentheses. Her Flight Engineer was someone she didn’t know - she shrugged it off.  But before her index finger could drag down to see her assigned Fighter Pilot, she felt a tap to her shoulder and a familiar voice by her ear.

“This was not how I imagined meeting you again, but I’m not at all complaining.”

Katie turned her head and her eyes widened. Her eyes went to his gleaming blue eyes, the ridiculously smug but excited expression on his face to the bright orange uniform tailored to his tall frame. The young man smirked and tilted his head towards the list. “I believe I gotta introduce myself to my communications engineer.”

She blinked once, twice and then rubbed her eyes to check the list behind her again. Her jaw dropped.

 

 _Katherine Holt_ _(Communications and Technology Engineer)_

 

_Florona Mer (Flight Engineer)_

 

_..._

 

_Lance Serrano (Fighter Pilot)_

 

“I’m Lance,” he began, arms crossing as a soft smile that unfailingly made her heart melt twitched to his lips. “Your fighter pilot.”

“Lance…” she breathed, her hand instinctively going to touch the pendant through her shirt. His eyes, though bright and proud, were soft on her. She took one step forward and hesitated, unsure of what their boundaries were. Lance decided for them and he engulfed her in one of those hugs she’d longed for all summer. Her arms squeezed tight around his torso and she felt her feet leave the floor as he lifted her.

“You made it,” she laughed as he set her down gently. “You made it!” she squealed, surprising him with a crushing hug.

“I did,” Lance chuckled, loosely letting his arms surround her. He tweaked her nose and smiled warmly down at her. “Thank you for that.”

“It’s all you, Lance,” she laughed, her cheeks hurting from smiling so wide. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“I’m keeping my promi-”

“Katie?” Her smile faltered and she turned to look over her shoulder. There, with a bouquet of daffodils in one arm and a pastel orange envelope held between his fingers, stood a young man Katie never thought she would see again. James looked confusedly between them, his face flickering with recognition as his eyes landed on Lance. But his gaze quickly returned to her. He lifted the envelope with a grin. “I got your letter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it! Thank you so much to the lovely people who have supported me throughout this story and have seen it to it's end. I hope you've enjoyed this dramatic, but loving mess that these characters kept getting themselves into. Do leave me your thoughts, I love hearing them all! ♥
> 
> P.S. Yes, the ending is completely inspired by the movie. I loved it because it adds that cliffhanger, but all in all, still gave a satisfying end to the movie. I've had it set in my mind before I even wrote this fic that that was exactly how I wanted to end it! Haha


End file.
